Logically, I KNOW it’s foolish to pay $2 for 113ml of ice cream when $6 will get me 414ml, but I can’t help it. Single-sized servings of fancy ass ice cream have pretty much become my raison d’etre – they’re perfect. Love ’em, even if it means I pay a ridiculous premium for a cute little cup of just enough ice cream to soothe the savage beast. After all, I’m an upwardly mobile young professional – I can totally afford to splurge on tiny gourmet items!

Oh, wait.

Shit.

Do you ever wish that you could take your outward common sense and apply it to yourself? If I could convince myself to take my own advice, I’d be so much happier. For example, I spent most of yesterday freaking out because I don’t have a new job yet.

I’ve been unemployed for three days and 4 hours. I haven’t even finished updating my resume yet, let alone applied for any jobs. Why am I beating myself up for being a failure? Oh, right, because I’m a complete fucking idiot – but even knowing that I’m being beyond ridiculous isn’t helping at all, and I’m panicking because I’m a shiftless bum. Everyone tells me I’ll have no problem not only finding a new job but finding something AWESOME given my mad, mad skills (portfolio coming soon!), but the confidence that others have in me, while very appreciated, isn’t quelling my fears of government cheese and daily glazed hams OR my uncertainty in myself. I mean, deep down I’m overly certain of my abilities – I built a goddamn intranet – but that doesn’t mean a very large part of me isn’t freaking the fuck out. What if I can’t find a new job? What if no one needs anything documented in a dazzling forthright manner? What if no one appreciates technical manuals written as a Choose Your Own Adventure book? What if I totally suck and people have just been coddling me all along?

What if?

These are all totally normal feelings to have on your fourth full day of being a bum, right?

i'm still really proud of this thing.