creepy is the new hot

A handful of pictures that live in my Dropbox folder found their way onto Google+ for people to browse at their leisure. I had no idea these images were up there, let alone set to public – so imagine my surprise when someone started commenting on one. There’s nothing more I love than someone being creepy all over me – guys, does that ever work for you? Am I supposed to be touched that this random stranger is so curious about my breast size; maybe even flattered? I’m a little out of the loop on this whole “flirting” thing .. is this where I offer the happy ending?

I haven’t had much luck catching up on my missing sleep, but my therapist blamed all my problems on all of you guys and also gave me some little tricks to try tonight. My brain refuses to shut up and let me drift off, and I’m worried that I’m giving myself a complex about it. I’m so worried about my NEED TO SLEEP that I  can’t concentrate on anything else .. which then keeps me awake with the thinking. I can’t even fucking NAP anymore, which sucks so much because I looooove napping. It’s my favourite thing after Diet Coke and orgasms.

Last night I had this really awesome plan to go to bed right after dinner .. but then my brain woke up, and I was full of inspiration. I ended at my working working until almost midnight, which did little for my brain health – but on the other hand, my portfolio is half done. I’m worried that it’s a little plain, but I can focus on the pretty after the content is up. I haven’t really touched it today other than to tinker with the name servers and domain pointiness, but I might actually have the whole thing done by Friday. Hooray! I am barely functioning, but I sure am productive!

Speaking of complexes, I’m hyper aware that I am boring as hell lately – sorry about that. I’ve been skipping posts because I’d rather say nothing than give another dull recap of my day: didn’t sleep. drank diet coke. did laundry. YEAH! I mean, today I went shopping and treated myself to some ridiculous in the form of purple ruffles, but that isn’t anything to write about. I do have half a rant brewing, but I need to check my archives to make sure I haven’t written about it already before I throw myself tits first into outrage. At the moment, I’m in some sort of hellish limbo – grateful that I don’t have to go outside into the frosty cracks of this cold snap unless I absolutely want to AND that my inability to sleep isn’t more than a pain in the ass instead of costing me sick days, but stuck in the tedium of the job hunt and eating all the banana bread. No one wants to read that, and I certainly don’t want to write it.

So, sorry. If I can actually sleep tonight and tomorrow, I may just have to take myself on an adventure to shake things up a little.

Oh, one more thing: in therapy, in between remembering every single mean thing each of you ever said to me, we talked about goals. Several different professionals are asking me to make a list of my goals and dreams and what I want to be when I grow up, so I’ve been thinking about it .. and I’ve realized there’s a running theme in everything I long for: freedom. Huh. Wonder what that’s all about. I’ll think on it some more, but hopefully not while I’m lying in bed desperately trying to fall asleep.

Then again, maybe it’s just this:

 

3 thoughts on “creepy is the new hot

  1. We did an exercise last week with a facilitator where we had to relax, close our eyes and think about what people would say at our retirement party – a family member, a long time friend, and a community leader (whatever “community” you might be in) and then draw up a short list of goals for 10 years, 5 years, 1 year, 6 months, 1 month and 1 week. I think many of us reading this are used to planning a year out, at least in broad strokes, but it was a very interesting exercise.

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