I am to be applauded for the amount of restraint I am showing in NOT adopting every single one of the kittens that need a home. Honestly, it’s only the vague, probably not real promise that I may someday get a pug that is keeping me from MOAR KITTENS. If I had more money than I knew what to do with, I would rent an apartment and fill it it cats then go hang out there for days at a time.

Adopt these cats for me so I can come visit them:

I WILL GET IT

Elora and Sheer Khan are sister and brother. Elora is the sensible one of the two; preferring to look adorable and be loved for it. She has a wee tail, is house broken, has had all her shots and is spayed – basically, she’s perfect and she needs a home. It would be lovely if you could adopt her with her brother, but even if you can’t, she will be a fantastic edition to your home and heart.

hello i am the prettiest

Sheer Khan (I do not get that name – is there a reference I am not seeing? Is Khan suddenly see through?) is energetic and awesome. He is always on the verge of attempting to GET IT (the IT changes every minute or so), and loves to play. Both SK and Elora are gorgeous tabbies full of purrs and adorable cat love that will inevitably melt your heart and turn you into a babbling, cooing puddle of goo.

gonna get it gonna get it gonna get it

Like his sister, SK is read to go to his new home where he will keep you busy and entertained as you try to keep him out of all the places he shouldn’t be (but is just so proud to be there that you won’t have the heart to stop him). Both kittens are also microchipped – they’re practically robot kittens, and that is just really cool. Adopt Elora, Sheer Khan, or both of them today (before my resolve breaks and I come home with a basket full of kittens).

Perhaps you have a specific colour scheme in your home, and wish to colour-coordinate your pets to match. Well, we have you covered – take a look at Darragh:

please take me home :(

Darragh looks very sad in his picture, because some heartless asshole abandoned him in a MAILBOX. Luckily, he was found and rescued in time and now he is playful, affectionate and loving. He would do great in a home with other cats, but is also ready to be your best friend forever. He’s had all his shots, and is neutered/microchipped/house broken .. all he needs is you.

LOVE ME

If you are made of frickin’ stone and none of these gorgeous kitties do it for you, you might consider adopting Shelley:

mew!

Shelley is a soft fuzzy kitten waiting for you to adopt her. She can be shy at times; retreating into her cat shell when frightened or sleepy, but Shelley is affectionate and purrs like a motorboat when petted. As with all cats, there is a slight risk of Shelley actually being a pizza-eating ninja who fights crime in the sewers at night, but rest assured that if that happens it will be both radical and totally tubular, dude (and may or may not be soundtracked by Vanilla Ice).

All of the above cats were photographed by Ben Johnson and can be adopted by contacting the HomeFinders Animal Rescue Society. Do it! Do it now! Do it before I can, because if I adopt more animals Ed will kick me out and I will be homeless and need rescuing myself!