I’m full of orders lately – play these games, adopt these cats – but seriously, it’s all for your own good. Now do it.

Jack Lumber

Universal
Genre: Canadian Fruit Ninja where the fruit is wood and the ninja is a lumberjack
Price: $0.99 (launch price)

I downloaded this game this morning, and I am utterly in love. This game is FANTASTIC – challenging, funny, so very Canadian (I don’t actually know if the devs are Canadian or not – if they aren’t, they secretly wish they were), with an intriguing back story. Seriously, this is what iOS gaming should be all about – having a good time with a kick-ass game. Bonus points for the lack of zombies, and for giving the often overlooked Lumberjack some much-needed love.

If my words don’t convince you to buy this app, check out the trailer. Even the TRAILER is awesome. Get it now!

Puzzle Craft

Universal
Genre: Static Match-3 farming
Price: $0.99 (launch price?)

Tired of matching jewels for nothing more than points and a tiny bit of personal satisfaction? Do you also enjoy creating civilizations, one flock of chickens at a time? Then Puzzle Craft is the game for you! Build your town up by collecting food and building supplies using match-3. Build homes, hire people, collect taxes – Puzzle Craft is a game you’ve played before, but not quite like this. It’s surprisingly deep, doesn’t require IAP to play well, and will keep you busy for hours. Just don’t name your town “Boner Town” .. that name is taken. By me. Long live Boner Town!

10000000

Universal
Genre: Sliding Match-3 dungeon crawling
Price: $1.99 (made by 1 guy in his spare time before his first baby came along, so buy the game and support incredible indie devs)

Puzzle Craft is great, but you can’t kill things. If you miss killing things, then 10000000 (the game is really hard to find – if you’re searching, just look up “eightyeight games” instead) is what you need. It’s another matching game, but one that allows you to slide the rows and columns to make your match. How fast can you get to 10 million points (I did it in 5:05)? Match weapons, gold, and building materials to earn your freedom. The sliding mechanic will mess with your brain until you get the hang of it, but for all the swearing you’ll do you’ll have a great time so get it already.

Shoot the Zombirds

Universal
Genre: Save the pumpkins from dead birds!
Price: $0.99

Ignore the kind of dumb name and get this app. It’s got great style, zombie birds, and dumb little pumpkin babies you have to keep saving because they’re not smart enough to get out of harm’s way. All that being said, the game is actually a lot of fun – I love the look of it, it’s challenging without being impossible, and even though it has zombies they’re not PEOPLE zombies so that’s okay (people zombies are so played out). The game is definitely worth a look, and plays great on both iSmall and iBig devices – grab it for a buck and save the day. For some anthropomorphic pumpkins. They’d do it for you!

Happy Street

Universal
Genre: The closest you’ll get to Animal Crossing on iOS
Price: Free

Animal Crossing 3DS keeps getting pushed back, and now it sounds like we won’t see it in North America until 2013. If you are like me and this fills you with blinding hot rage, turn that frown upside down by getting Happy Street. It’s been out in Canada for a couple months, but just launched in the US store this past week. While it is heavily IAP-driven, it’s possible to play without spending a cent – you just need to be patient, and also do whatever the weird guy in the blue hat tells you to do. I’m 18 levels in and still playing (add me to Game Center if you want to visit my town for free game-money: Drunk Bettie), and it’s been fun so far. And no, I don’t know what’s up with the white fecalphiliac cat. I try to ignore it.

It’s supposed to rain tomorrow, so these should keep you busy while you wait for the next round of cats to adopt and for the Paralympics to start. Go now!