poetry!

Henceforth I insist that all package status updates be delivered in Haiku form.

Departure from in/
ward office of exchange – Van/
couver Canada

Package is delayed
Customs has opened your goods
Nice discount panties!

There’s no way that dress
Will cover your pasty ass
Keep on dreaming, though.

Your mail will be late
A conspiracy?
No, we just hate you.

.. I could do this all day, but things need speccin’.