This week has been one of the roughest I can remember in recent times. I’m glad it’s Friday, but that’s really a very small comfort in the face of all that’s gone down – it just means there’s more time to sit around and cry.

Everything in our lives has been overshadowed by our sorrow at losing Cheddar, but there’ve been Significant Happenings that we’re struggling to deal with at this time:

• Ed started a new job on Monday, which is awesome .. but overwhelming. In addition to the standard new job nervousness, he’s working from home for the first time ever. It would be a huge adjustment for anyone, but home is where Cheddar’s absence is most keenly felt – it’s hard not to look around for her or expect her to appear at your elbow patiently waiting for you to notice her.
• While dealing with a new job, a new environment, the loss of the happiest cat in the universe, and the stress of learning a new industry, Ed’s slow transformation into some sort of Flukeman has once again picked up speed. His throat has been bothering him on and off since May, and a baseball team full of doctors have all said “pfft it’s nothing”. This “nothing” is causing him heaps of anxiety on top of everything else going on, and it fucking sucks so today I got Hulk Mad and demanded he get results or I’d drag his developing-gills ass to the ER tonight after work. He’s got a referral to an ENT specialist, so I am Hulk Sated. For now.
• I had my Employee Review this week. It went better than I expected, but I hate these things.
• Motherfuckin’ cramps, man. I have GOT to get my IUD dealt with, but I am too busy being stressed out and sad. How do women deal with these each month? Apparently I’ve been very spoiled for the past 5+ years.

In the grand scheme of the universe, it’s not THAT much. I feel bad for letting everything get to me, but I can only cope with so much at once before I start to come apart at the seams.

Definitely not feeling any holiday spirit this year.