Normal Christmas trees are just so .. regular. We already have a tree in our living room year ’round, so instead of adding an additional tree (more than one tree is gauche), we decorated the Ridiculous LED Tree with festive baubles and disco balls. Voila! Instant holiday spirit!
For the first time ever, I’m actually excited about a gift I’m giving my mother. Every year I wrack my brain trying to think of a suitable present – something that says “I mostly forgive you for all the abuse but you’re still crazy and visiting you is exhausting”, but is actually useful instead of serving to further clutter up her dank basement cave. I usually give her pyjamas and chocolate. Neither of those are all that exciting, but she likes dressing in layers and doesn’t actually have diabetes so it works well enough. I did buy her some particularly fuzzy PJs last month, but had been wrestling with what I could give her that would satisfy ME – let’s face it; she wouldn’t care one way or another but a small part of me still wishes for a Hallmark Family and all the trimmings and so I try to give people meaningful presents you could film a TV commercial around. I was browsing terrible music on Amazon and seconds away from ordering up something completely forgettable when inspiration struck me like delicious pie: mom doesn’t need more stuff. She’s never needed more stuff.
Instead of giving my mother things for Christmas, I’m taking over her phone bill payments. I called her up and asked for her Telus account number – she didn’t think to ask me why – and set up an online account, redirecting the bills to my email address and changing her pre-authorized payment information to mine. Starting in January, she won’t have a phone bill to pay. As a widow on a fixed pension, I’m guessing she could use the extra money a lot more than a DVD or another pair of slippers .. even if she spends the money on lottery tickets (which was the only thing she actually asked for, in addition to insisting that Ed and I also buy some lottery tickets because “you never know”). I don’t need to know. It’s not a lot to Ed or I, but I think it’ll really help her out and that pleases me. Appropriate (if distressingly practical) gifting! Hooray!
I will celebrate my excellent idea with lunch! I am hungry.