Due to a scheduling snafu, my INVASIVE DOCTORB APPOINTMENT is not today. That’s bad!

It’s now officially scheduled, on paper and everything, for next Thursday at 2:30. That’s good!

I took a now-unnecessary afternoon off to deal with the searing vagina pain I don’t currently have. That’s bad!

I have muscle relaxants to take before my appointment, to help with the aforementioned searing. That’s good!

I thought my appointment was today, so I took one. On an empty stomach. I am high as fuck! (That’s bad)

My doctorb is right above a Whole Foods. That’s good!

Except, while High as Fuck and also hungry, I went into Whole Foods and spent a lot of money on organic bisque and cheese with credentials and imported lime leaves. That’s .. well, hilarious.

I can salvage some of my afternoon to do some work, so I don’t have to take additional vacation next week. That’s good!

Ed has to come pick me up, because I am too muscle relaxed to take the bus. I’m standing across the street from Whole Foods leaning on a pole because jelly legs, looking for all the world like someone who would do unmentionable things to you for just one hit of quinoa garnished with a balsamic truffle reduction on a bed of sensually massaged kale. That’s bad!

So many cheeses. But, no speculum! That’s good!

I’m going to sit down now. Right here looks really, really good.