One of the things I’ve done while sick with a stunning variety of diseases was cull the books on our shelves. This was a timely thing to do, as there was a charity book drive at work – so instead of taking the books to a donation bin, I hauled them into the office for other people to pick through.

At least, I took most of them into the office. The following is a list of titles I didn’t think proper to unleash on my coworkers:

• The Whole Lesbian Sex Book
• Best Lesbian Erotica 2000/2001
• Penis Pokey
• Glossary of Insurance Terms
• The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus
• Hot + Bothered 4
• Taboo: Forbidden Fantasies for Couples
• Net.Sex
• The Ethical Slut
• The Witches’ Bible
• Best Women’s Erotica
• The Trainer’s Handbook
• Best American Erotica 1997
• The Big Penis Book (just kidding, I’d never donate that because it’s awesome)

So if you want to see what erotica was like before the internet was an essential service, want to have sex like a lesbian, or need to know insurance terminology, hit me up.

Also, I dragged myself to a walk-in clinic last night after a day and a half of not being able to swallow or talk (I gave a presentation at work that consisted of me typing things into Powerpoint while mutely waving at people from the stage) and also looking down my throat and seeing huge gross white splotches where there ought not be any splotches at all. Diagnosis: strep throat. I have antibiotics, a recommendation not to go a-boning, permission to abuse the Advil, and orders not to work for the rest of the week (which I am ignoring, and working from home while dressed as a sheep). I still can’t swallow, but my fever is down, so I consider it a win. I do miss food, though. And wearing clothes. Is November over yet?