WHY AREN’T I BETTER YET? IT’S BEEN THREE WHOLE DAYS!
I am a lousy patient. Resting is boring. I feel guilty (and annoyed) that I’m not better yet, but I really have no other “totes sick” experience to measure a good healing by. I haven’t spent any time in the hospital beyond day surgery since I was 7, when I had my tonsils out (and my tail removed 2 years before that). I’m struggling to take this as seriously as I should, but every time I try to do .. well, anything at all, I’m stopped in my tracks by a deep and unsettling exhaustion and clammy moistness, quickly followed by the guilts. I worked from home today, but wasn’t nearly as productive as I thought I’d be due to the aforementioned clams – even thinking makes me tired and nauseous and damp. I am (thankfully) not used to being Very Sick, and I don’t know what to do about it all.
I haven’t told my mother, either. I want to tell her, but I don’t want her to worry and/or nag me for the next 20 years. It’s times like this that I really miss having a normal relationship with my mother – I know it’s better that I just don’t get into this with her, but I can’t help but want someone to fuss over me and make me stay in bed and bring me presents. That’s what happens when you’re sick, right? It did when I was 7, so I assume it’s the same when you’re an adult.
Here’s hoping I have more success sitting upright tomorrow!