There’s a Fancy Party coming up, and I have nothing to wear.

It’s true that 90% of my closet is fancy, but it’s all casual fancy. This is my one chance a year to get super fancy, and I am finding my closet lacking.

It doesn’t help that my overall look, shape, and aura is that of a potato. As useful and delicious as potatoes are, it is really a defeating thing to be. I mean, I try very hard to remain upbeat and all “rah rah I love me” at all times (even when utterly unwarranted), but today I am extra potato. I’m trying to think of how I could dress up for Fancy Times. It’s not working, because potato. Why bother? When you dress up a potato, all you have is an embellished potato. A potato with sequins. Cocktail potato. Clubbin’ potato. Aww, look at that adorable potato. It thinks it’s people!

I am a glum potato.

me in happier potato times