Whatever Ed and I had planned to do today, I’m fairly certain it didn’t involve an emergency trip to the clinic followed up by a case of mistaken identity (and eggs).

First, the emergency: we were lying in bed this morning, playing with the cats. I was being a scary blanket ghost, and as I peered out through a hole, Dilly decided to attack. She pounced on the scary blanket ghost and managed to snag my eye with her claw through the hole, catching my lower eyelid and missing my eyeball by a hair. My vision is fine, but she left a big scratch on my lower eyelid that kinda hurts but more importantly could be full of cat bacteria and unseemly isotopes. We got dressed and drove to the clinic, where I was prescribed antibiotic eye drops (but no eye patch, which makes me so sad) and told to douse my eye liberally and come the fuck back if things start to swell or mutate.

In addition to the eye drops, we decided to self-medicate at Denny’s. When we were seated, our server was very excited to see me again! I’m so sweet, how am I doing? I smiled and nodded and made appropriate noises, but I honestly have NO IDEA who this lady is. She kept patting my arm and telling me how sweet and lovely I am and how nice it is to see me again – she’s very sweet herself, but so confusing. Breakfast was delicious though, and I’m sure it helped my eye immensely. We said goodbye to my new/old friend, and then it was off to get the eye drops and video games.

Now I’m at home, doped up in the eye, and not wearing any pants. Life is good.

apropos of nothing: sea planes