I like to be prepared for every situation, no matter how unlikely. To that end, I carry around a lot of things – a good idea in theory, but a pain in the ass in practice. I’ve been slowly trying to wean myself off my need to carry the universe on my shoulder, but it’s been difficult because WHAT IF. What if I need to tighten the screws on my glasses? What if Mike desperately needs a nail file? What if aliens will take over the world unless someone presents them with 9 different kinds of lip gloss this instant? I am prepared for all these situations. I am the hero you deserve, even if you don’t need me right now.

In preparation for tomorrow’s Seattle Adventure, I emptied my bag out so I could do some shuffling from my everyday canyon-sized bag to a small, evening-appropriate bag shaped like a cat (because adult). I took a good hard look at everything in my bag, looking for places I could make cuts.

This is what I carry around daily:

• 4 loose dimes
• Two Mio water enhancers (same flavour)
• One lens cleaning cloth (aka “cheese”)
• One empty Crown Royal bag
• An Olloclip
• A fancy-ass travel card holder that holds my work badge, a keycard to get into my building, my com-pass, and a spare $20
• My wallet (insert picture of hottie boyfriend here)
• One mini emergency kit minus the tampon because Mirena, suckas
• A small box of artisan chocolates
• Half a honey truffle bar
• A cookie I didn’t eat last night
• A Hootsuite first aid kit
• My glasses
• A glitter gel pen
• Two leather heart tassel thingies
• My fabulous pill box, full of Advil and allergy pills
• 3 wads of napkins in varying states of use
• Sunglasses for some reason
• Lens cleaning brush (this thing is awesome)
• A hard maple candy from my local poutinery
• Two portable battery chargers totalling 17200 mAh, because range anxiety
• Makeup Bag:
  • Nail File
  • Nail clippers
  • Tweezers
  • 1 Barette
  • Two mini perfumes
  • 6 individual hand lotion samples
  • 1 mini mega moisturizer, for moistening all the things
  • 1 vial of peppermint oil
  • 1 mirror
  • 3 eyeliners
  • 1 double-sided eyeliner
  • 5 tubes of lip balm
  • Powder compact
  • Mini luminizer compact
• Tech Bag:
  • USB Security key
  • Bluetooth remote
  • Spare 16GB SD card
  • Glasses screwdriver
  • Small packet of stick-on googly eyes
  • iPhone wall plug
  • Tiny robot charm
  • This key
  • The World’s Dirtiest Smutton
  • A round pebble
  • The “Whisper a secret/follow it” MPDG card
  • Earphones
  • Boring, non-glitter pen
  • A Hello Kitty locket containing two SIM cards for other countries
  • 4 iPhone charging cables (one of them is a string of Christmas lights!)
  • 1 mini USB cable (diversity!)
• House keys (huge and unwieldy)
• Car keys (slightly more wieldy)

No wonder my back hurts all the time. On the upside, at least I’m prepared for many things. I haven’t the slightest idea what I could cut from this list that wouldn’t leave me stranded in an emergency .. I just need a bigger bag. Problem solved!

Tomorrow I get to take a train!