this is not my beautiful wife

In today’s mail:

  • Dainty paper plates
  • Three Union Jack disco balls
  • Kevlar pants

My plans are coming together nicely.

April is apparently a busy month ’round these parts. Ed and I were in Victoria last weekend to say hi to mom and romp around Beacon Hill Park in the dark. We stayed at a B&B (we did not partake of the second B because I am not getting up at 8am to eat with strangers), which was nice – it was an old Tudor house built in 1912 and undoubtedly stuffed with ghosts (which we did not see, but all old houses are haunted – it’s a fact). The visit with mom was almost TOO uneventful (she didn’t once mention my purple hair), and we had a lovely meal at her favourite food hole.

Oh, and we almost bought a house.

Ed and I were hanging out at Saxe Point, which we do every time we’re on the Island. We found a neat cove with benches, and sat for a while to take in the naturey goodness and watch dogs fetching sticks in the water. There were several houses under construction around the cove and I got nosy, so we looked up the area on a realtor site to see what property was going for. Depressingly, property in Victoria is a LOT cheaper than it is in Vancouver – like, temptingly so. It didn’t help matters that a near-perfect, almost affordable* place was just around the corner from us, smack in the middle of the part of town we had already agreed was our favourite .. shit. We drove to see it. Oh look, an Open House! Noooooo. Fortunately, there was no one there – but Ed almost went as far as calling the realtor, which I stopped. We were just wishful thinking, right? This was not real life. That was not our beautiful house.

The truth is, I’m torn. Victoria is beautiful, and I’m finally of the (advanced) age where I can appreciate my roots. We’d be able to afford an actual stand-alone house. We’d be closer to deal with my mother on a more frequent basis. The ocean is super.

The flipside, though: isolation. Being dependant on the loathsome BC Ferries. It’s not Europe. We have friends here, and sometimes we get to see them. Getting to Seattle is suddenly an expensive ordeal, instead of something that can be done on whims. I might have to find a new job, if I wasn’t able to convince my company that I’m so important I should be allowed to work remotely full time. The aforementioned proximity to my mother.

The cons are winning, for now. I could probably convince myself of the opposite if I really wanted to, but I don’t know that I do – it’s a huge decision, one I’m not in any hurry (or real need) to make any time soon.

But .. what if?

As I looked at available properties in Victoria, I noticed a decent number of low-priced one-bedroom condos. We did the math: if we were to, say, buy one of these units, the monthly mortgage payment would be less that the rent my mother pays for her horrible basement suite. We could help her out, improve our Financial Situation for The Future, potentially have somewhere to stay when we visited that wasn’t her horrible spider nest, and all sorts of other excellent reasons. It’s an intriguing (if terrifying) idea, one we approached mom with. It could be done, we all agreed. Will we actually do it? That remains to be seen.

After a weekend of hardcore grown-upping, I need a ridiculous vacation.

That was a lot of thinking for just two days in April. Other things were done this month, too – someone (me) forgot that I’m afraid of children, so I hosted around 40 of them for an event at work last night. I had a Discussion with my boss about my role and where I want to take it. Science has proven that I am a terrible person and so few are the fucks I give that I am starving for fucks. Ed bought a dream car, which is mostly why I can’t run out and buy a house in Victoria tomorrow. When he gets the car, the Mini will be all mine and I am making furious plans for stickers I’m going to put on it. Tattoos are happening! Consult is booked for May, a couple of days after we get back from New York. Speaking of which, I got bored one day and booked a trip to New York. Hooray! Lemon is doing wonderfully well, in that he is a total brat. No one has any clue what made him so sick, but this healthy Lemon is still miraculous to us so we will joyfully take it. Tonight I get to go to the launch of the Pan Pacific’s new fancy restaurant called Ocean 999, which is super cool. On Sunday, I will make a piñata. So many things going on! I’m exhausted just thinking about it all and also justifying this terrible run-on paragraph.

All caught up now, right?


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