NUMBERS!

• Total number of boxes or box-like things packed: 137
• Number of boxes with unknown contents: 1
• Break it down, now:
  • Boxes destined for the garage: 7
  • Things ambiguously marked “Spare Room” but half of them should really be in the living room: 23
  • Living Room things: 9
  • Behold the Kitchen: 31
  • Master Bedroom: 33 (the fuck?)
  • Number of boxes containing Ed’s office things: 4
  • Number of boxes containing my office things: 29
  • I don’t know where this box goes because someone packed it without using my numbering system/spreadsheet and I hate this box it is stupid: 1
• Boxes with contents listed as “Unmentionables”: 3
• Boxes containing Cheerios: 4
• Number of times I predicted I would cry on move day: 3
• Number of times I actually cried: 1
• Casualties of War:
  • The large cheap door mirror
  • Ed’s over compensating clock
  • One small glass bowl
  • 5 art prints
  • The bowl for the food processor
  • Another small mirror
• How soon we’re going to move again: fucking never
• Embarassing vibrator-related incidents: 1

The move went smoothly and without any major problems. Normally I’d be thrilled with that, but since I’d been planning and preparing for this move since May of 2017, damn fucking RIGHT it went off without a hitch. I’m less giddy with relief and more purring with self-satisfaction: I got the keys for the new home, the closet installers showed up about 5 minutes later, the movers arrived when they were done, the window screen guy showed up to measure the windows, Ed made it in one (frazzled) piece, and the internet was up and working that same day. While I was out getting the keys, the cleaners arrived at Sparta, followed by the carpet cleaners. Everything happened more or less the way it was supposed to, and we are super grateful to Shan who gave up a vacation day to come over and cover the places we couldn’t be and wrangle the cleaners. Shan is the best.

The major thing (which is still pretty minor) that did go wrong on Move Day was an unforeseen circumstance: during the winter rains, our off-site storage locker took on some water and several boxes were soaked and mouldy. The hardest hit box was the large one containing all of the art from my Happy Wall – this was the source of the Move Day Tears. When the movers arrived at Sparta, they brought the wet boxes into the lobby for me to open and go through to assess the damage. Luckily, most of the art seems to have survived: I lost several prints and a frame broke. I think the prints are replaceable (most of them were from Society 6), but the good news is that the completely irreplaceable items – the Aaron Kraten pieces I bought last year, some limited edition Dave Perillo prints, the embroidered pug Heather made me – survived. Given that the ruined prints were in the middle of the box, I am really really happy that the overall damage was minimal.

The new place has officially been dubbed “Halfwack”, because it is half the distance to Chilliwack. You may refer to our home thusly.

We still don’t have our new furniture, which is creating some challenges while unpacking. I can’t set up my office (and am working out of the kitchen) because I don’t have a desk, and our living room is an empty cavern of half-empty boxes. We’re hoping to get most of it this week. The closet built-ins are helping a lot, but I still had to rage purge while unpacking the bedroom: WHY do I have so many goddamn clothes. I purged at least two large boxes of stuff I won’t miss, and have juuuust managed to get everything contained in our huge closet. I’ve been angry at myself for the last several days for amassing so much clothing that I never wear, so I ruthlessly purged and will donate the aftermath. I’m also going to take a serious look at my shopping habits to try and cut back there. I am but one person who generally doesn’t wear much clothing at all: I cannot possibly make use of so many fucking socks.

Ed and I were in Sparta for just under 8.5 years, and in that time we said “we should paint!” repeatedly. Like, twice a year. We never got around to it, so this time we decided to Be Logical about it and we hired painters to come in before our furniture arrived. They came this past Monday, and our walls look amazing. We didn’t paint the entire place because it is huge and we are not millionaires, but we did paint Ed’s office, the guest room, the master bedroom, and one wall each in the living room and my office. I’ll take pictures when everything is all set up (just got word our furniture is coming on Sunday), but it’s important that you know this: my wall colour is “Pleasant Stream”. Make of that what you will.

The cats are settling in nicely. I ended up driving over with all three cats in the mini, and the two boys were NOT. HAPPY. Lemon spent the rest of the week being vocally angry, and Hobbz peed himself multiple times out of fear and spent the first five hours in Halfwack basically catatonic (no pun here, it was really scary). He snapped out of it a bit after Ed showed up, and after that, was completely fine. He’s actually the most adjusted out of all three, which really surprised us. Dilly is afraid of strangers and the unknown so it took her several days to come out from under the bedroom blankets, but now she’s wandering around and looking for places to jump to. She and Lemon are OBSESSED with the master bedroom closet, and I keep having to dig them out of there. We’re gonna end up with child locks on the doors, because the laundry is two floors down and I am not gonna wash all my stuff repeatedly to deal with the cat hair.

Okay, that’s enough words for now. Pictures soon! And a housewarming party! Don’t bother wearing pants!

we’ve already lost half of these