Oh, sorry, did I say “happiness”? I meant “searing carpal tunnel pain”. I always get those mixed up.

The majority of our furniture arrived on Sunday, and we’ve spent the last couple of days putting it all together. We went not-IKEA for most of our stuff for basically the first time in our lives, which has been terribly novel due to the lack of flatpacks. Unfortuneately, no flatpack does not translate to no cardboard: last night we threw in the proverbial towel and scheduled a junk removal service to come get it all. This works as a deadline as well, because now we have to get everything put together before they come to get all this fucking cardboard out of our place. There’s so much cardboard. If we weren’t exhausted every night, we could build some epic forts.

Assembling furniture basically means a lot of screws that need to be screwed into various screw holes. The majority of my hand/arm pain comes from all of this screwing, along with a heaping side of lifting and box throwing. It’s caused things to flair up, which is never the good time it sounds like it should be.

I used to have really bad carpal tunnel syndrome, which I eventually learned to ignore when it became evident that this “internet” thing wasn’t just a passing fancy and I’d likely be typing at people for the rest of my life. In addition to the sore legs from walking up and down our stairs dozens of times a day, my arms and wrists have been swollen and stiff for the past week – a pain that was all too familiar. I looked up the symptoms I was experiencing anyway, and after I discarded the ones that claim I’m pregnant with cancer, I found the culprit and went “oh duh”. All that screwing I’ve been doing has caused my carpals to get swole, and it hurts. Please don’t challenge me to a fight, because I am unable to make a fist. I would have to simply bat at you ineffectively while you laugh at my weak fighting style, and then I would cry both in humiliation and frustration. Do you want that on your conscience? I am an ugly crier, so I bet you do not.

It’s been a slow process, but all things considered we’re moving along at a steady clip. My new Lady Cave is fucking amazing, and as soon as I bedeck the halls with art I will share pictures. It is epic. EPIC!

Okay, back to trying to hide swears in this EULA.