pot review: dutch crunch

Today’s pot is a fancy times: Dutch Crunch, a hybrid of Dutch Treat and Jack Herer. I got my tax return, so I splurged* and treated myself to some small batch AAAA oak barrel triple aged stuff cultivated by dudes with long beards and $200 fades. They wear starched aprons over khakis and button-downs with the sleeves rolled up to show off the ink. If this was beer, it’d come in growlers served at a splintery plank counter and some kind of gimmick like they’re technically not allowed to sell beer so instead they sell $20 banana muffins that each come with a free bottle of brew. Everything is plaid.

Anyway, the weed. It is actually very super awesome. Dutch Crunch might be my new favourite by a lot. It came in a fancy vacuum-sealed tin with a pull tab, like top shelf cat food. It smells insanely green – I would wear it as perfume or eat it as a salad. Those are complimentary things, right? I don’t think I know how to praise a plant.

Stunned amazement brought on by the weed aside, I’m not entirely surprised that I like this strain so much. Before I took over management of the household vices, Ed had once ordered some Dutch Hawaiian that I enjoyed until it was all gone. I’d been on the lookout for something similar when I came across Dutch Crunch, so I ordered it on a hunch that all things starting with “Dutch” would be similar. I could tell because they have the same name, you see. I am very deductive.

Incidentally, if you find yourself a strain that you really enjoy, I recommend getting an ample amount. I have yet to be able to restock a specific strain once it’s all gone, which leads to a lot of rueing on my part. Unless you have time to rue, order more. You’ll thank yourself later.

I keep getting distracted for some reason .. . Back to the weed. The high is very visual – these are many words and they are not coming easy**. It’s a much different high when I’m Obnoxious Word Kimli because I don’t even really have to do anything my fingers just make nonsense go. In this case, I can visualize what I’m trying to describe, but the words are super stilted and I’ve rewritten parts several times. Still fun, tho. I’m on our balcony, listening to the creek and some horny birds. It’s really very quite nice.***

*: In this instance, “splurge” meant $150CDN for half an ounce/14 grams which is an astonishing amount of weed.

**: The words were not coming easy when this was originally written on Facebook, several weeks ago. They are much easier at the moment. Sorry.

***: It was very nice!

Remind me to tell you about Crunch Cakes, okay?

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