This is why I keep a pen and paper in my scooter (I also keep condoms, but they didn’t apply here):

goddamn suvs

I’m aware that this is a repeat of a Twitter update I made, but seriously – how badly do you want to hear about my adventures in CRM testing?

Anything can be boring if you let it, so I try to make my own fun:

even sales leads can be awesome

I’m a technical writer specializing in documentation for the computer illiterate – it doesn’t matter if they don’t get my references; *I* get them and that is all that matters.

In a bizarre twist of fate, today is the birthday of both my boss and my boss boss. How big a cake do you need to get in order to suck up to a Director and a Vice President at the same time? I am thinking it has to be pretty massive.

Last night I started packing for Edmonton. I’m a little apprehensive about this trip, not in the least because we appear to be going during a cold snap. The forecasted HIGH for the entire time we’re there is 0C – what the hell! I burned all my winter coats when I left Calgary; I don’t OWN things meant to insulate me in freezing temperatures. I hate traveling with warm clothing – it takes up so much room in my bag; precious room that could be used for electronics. I will have to repack tonight –  I think I foolishly put a short-sleeved shirt or two in my suitcase instead of sexy polar fleece long johns and wool turtlenecks.

It won’t be all bad, though. We’re going to Edmonton for Visiting, not Fun Events – I can probably get away with not wearing pants during Visiting, and maybe there will be a fire. I could really get behind a couple days of no pants and my DS and a fire. Plus, both my in-laws are amazing cooks. Also, there’s no PST and the only good donairs in Western Canada. Okay, I’m looking forward to this again.

I probably shouldn’t say anything further about the unpleasantness of last week, but I can’t pass up the chance to say this: forced apologies are lol.

I’m on steroids. Where’s my scandal?

Every year around this time I’m shocked and horrified at how itchy everything is. I have scaly patches and anything that touches me makes my skin unhappy and uncomfortable. I should be used to this, but I’m surprised every time – why is this happening to me? Where did this rash come from? Is my skin normally this bad? When did I become allergic to the bed?

I still have a large tube of steroid goo from last year, when I was again surprised by my reaction to fall. I don’t know if it’s still potent, but I slathered some of my more alligator-like patches with lovely cream in the hopes that things will go back to normal. I’m already so full of anti-histamines I squeak when I walk; the last thing I need is to experience roid rage when I’m itchy and jumping at everything that brushes against my overworked skin.

Yesterday afternoon was spectacular – maybe I shouldn’t leave the North Shore after all.

time for a nap

giant trumpet makes for giant noise

lonsdale quay is like granville island, only less crowded and therefore more awesome

oh if only those condos weren't upwards of a million dollars each

After my insane week at work, I was very much looking forward to a great deal of nothing this weekend. We had a couple plans, but nothing major – no Events or Adventures or even anything Terribly Exciting. For once, I wasn’t about to complain about how boring my life was – I needed boring.

On Friday night, Josh Ed and I went to Raglan’s for a late dinner. We’d been there for breakfast before, but had never tried their regular menu although everyone else had. I was a little hesitant – the breakfast I had there was wrought with catastrophe and undercooked eggs – but the dinner we had more than made up for my squeamishness. I had their 900 burger, which came with cheese (held), bacon and mushrooms – all standard fare, but it was the burger itself that impressed me the most. It wasn’t just a slab of meat; it was seasoned and full of tasty things and a damn burger all ’round. It actually reminded me of the sublime Built Burgers that Doug and Ali introduced us to. It was awesome.

While Josh enjoyed his manly behemoth of a mojito, I opted for a small-sized rum drink. This marked the second time in one week I was drinking the alcohols; surely the intervention can’t be far behind. Even though I didn’t finish my drink, it got me surprisingly drunk – there was stumbling and slurring and I think I even got sloppy-angry-drunk at the TV but it totally shouldn’t have looked at me like that.

The rest of the weekend was more of the same. I had made a list of properties we were tentatively interested in, and two of them were having open houses this weekend. The first place we saw was in Upper Lynn Valley – a little far from downtown, but very close to all amenities in the area. The place was otherwise perfect – good price, beautiful insides, right across the street from a bus stop, pets allowed, rear-facing so there was little traffic noise and a little creek in the back yard. Unfortunately, we don’t have our finances solidly figured out yet and by the time we scrape together a down payment, the place will probably be gone. Yesterday that would have filled me with woe – I really loved the unit – but I am feeling more upbeat about it all. When we’re ready to go forward, we’ll find something awesome. I choose to be sure of this.

After breakfast with the Gang at Deacon’s Corner this morning, Ed and I saw a place just off Commercial Drive. We were curious as to why something in so prime a location would be in our price range, and it looked perfect on paper – a two-storey townhome with two bedrooms and an open floor plan and several patios. It was a little small, but worth checking out – so we did. It was quickly obvious why the place was priced so low, though – the hot water tank in the unit above had exploded and a great deal of water had seeped into the unit for sale. There was water damage almost everywhere that was being fixed, but would take a great deal extra to make perfect – hence the low price. Also, it was small. I’m glad we saw it so I won’t be filled with “what-if” angst, but the location was so awesome that it’s making me waiver on my pact to stay on the North Shore (much to Shan’s dismay).

We are just beginning this whole “let’s attempt to be grown-ups for a second and see what happens” adventure. The next few months are going to be interesting, assuming I survive the rollout at work.

Does anyone know why I have a rash on my neck?

My alarm woke me up to the Barenaked Ladies’ cover of “Fight the Power” this morning, so clearly this means I will have a great day.

There was some extreme unpleasantness at work on Wednesday. The tears shed below weren’t ones of frustration so much as they were tears of utter humiliation – without going into too many details, I was ripped a fresh and shiny hole by a fellow manager via conference call, in front of a large room of people .. for two hours straight.

When everything was said and done, I steamed and stewed and yeah, I cried in a bathroom stall. I’m at the tail end of a huge project and I’m just as stressed as the next person – look at my calendar below; that one is fake but my real calendar is actually worse and not coloured like a pinata – but this was a verbal lashing the likes of which I hadn’t received in a very long time. Hindsight has shown me several ways I could have better dealt with the situation other than my chosen method of “utterly freeze and lose my focus”, but now I know what to expect and you know what it is they say about knowing: it is half the battle.

I’d feel better if I were armed with red or blue lasers, though.

After my tears had dried and my nose stopped glowing, I paced around the Lab for a bit. I was fine with keeping everything to myself until I walked through one of the departments that had been witness to the brutality of the verbal lashing – people were asking me if I was okay, and what was the deal with that, and boy he sure was angry, and and and –

It made me realize that I didn’t care (much, after I cried it out) that he had yelled at me over things I can’t control (seriously; I have NO SAY in whether or not a Microsoft product will work in Firefox and no amount of screaming is going to change my lack of power over Bill Gates) but rather that he had done so in front of SO MANY PEOPLE – 5 departments I work closely with were all represented in that room by multiple co-workers, in addition to the new girl I was training that had started that morning. Yell at me privately if you’re upset that I can’t strip a mandatory field out of the software, but don’t humiliate me like that in front of my minions. It is Not Cool.

So, I went to my boss. I had previously gone to him and offered him a puppy if I never had to work with the Nasty Man again, to which he laughed – he had heard it was a rough session, but that was it. When I went back a second time, I expressed my extreme displeasure that Nasty Man had done this in front of so many others and shared a few things that were said. He was disgusted, and suggested we immediately go see Vice President and let him know – so we did. VP was even MORE displeased, and apologized for Nasty Man’s behaviour, assured me that I was doing a great job, and said he would be dealing with it the next day.

As soon as I got to work yesterday, HR came to see me. VP had gone to her right after our conversation and relayed the situation, and she wanted to let me know something that floored me:

They had my back.

My back hasn’t been had in a very, very long time. Through all my years at Space Stations 1 and 2 I sometimes had a person going to bat for me, but ultimately my choices were to take the abuse or leave. Illegal practices? Name calling? Telling me that customers complained about my work because you needed something to reprimand me for? Lying to my face about my job? Taking credit for my work? Too bad, so sad. I was a contractor, a commodity, a replaceable (except not) drone – if you don’t like being treated like garbage, you’re in the wrong industry (said industry being any industry). If you complain, we’ll get rid of you.

Maybe this is completely standard, but to me it’s like winning a fabulous prize. Someone did something really, really nasty and I rightfully brought it up to my boss – and now there are consequences. Not for me, even, but for the Nasty Man. This is nothing short of incredible to me – you mean people are held responsible for their actions? You don’t condone abuse or humiliation as a tactic? Someone cares that I was upset and they’re doing something about it?!

Colour me completely floored, and very grateful. The word had gotten out – the people in the room told their managers – and my co-workers are coming around to say they’re sorry for what happened and they think I’m super. This, too, is great – as of Wednesday afternoon, I had pretty much lost any confidence I had that I knew what I was doing and was at all good at my job. That confidence is starting to come back though, and I’m fairly certain I’ll be back to my unorthodox methods in no time – like today, when I have to break the news of a process change to the team but I am plying them with a pizza lunch first.

It feels good to have my back be had.

.. you’ve just unlocked the Crying at Work badge!

also unlocked: second guessing your ability to do your job!

It’s been an awesome day.

Hey, Kimli! Why have your posts been so short and crappy this week?

i hate the person who discovered you can overlap appointments

Also, I am beyond disgusted that I had to threaten my team with being thrown into a Sarlacc pit only to have them ask me “What’s a Sarlacc?”.

Kids these days don’t have a CLUE.

I went to the drug store on my lunch break because I need drugs. The Pharmasave in Bentall 2 has a fairly juicy clearance section, and on this trip I found the Neutrogena Wave on sale for $9. I’m curious about this thing, and god knows I love a good exfoliation so I bought one.

If I can trust the commercials on TV, not only will my skin be glowing after just one use, you’ll also be able to easily find naked pictures of me all over the internet in two separate scandals that somehow don’t ruin my Disney career or side job as a beard to the world’s most comely twink.