blogging the vancouver opera

please break this rule; i didnt eat dinner

please break this rule; i didn't eat dinner

I was the first to arrive, just after 6pm. There were already fancy people lined up outside – I’m sure they were excited to see the show, but it’s also very cold outside. Truth be told, I was far warmer in my fancy dress and heels than I was all day at work in my grubby tech clothes – it’s most likely excitement, but perhaps I should also invest in a space heater.

There’s a group of women here manning a booth called the Vancouver Opera Guild – I believe they were involved in the opera from way back ago. I overheard them discussing things amongst themselves – it was pretty much the cutest thing ever to hear a crisp English accent announcing “THOSE are BLOGGERS!”. It’s true – we are bloggers. It says so on the sign posted above.

The five of us just returned from a tour of the stage. I took many pictures (the quality of which remains to be seen; my SD card did NOT appreciate being yanked from the warm confines of my Mac and coughed up some memory errors) that I’ll try to post tonight. It was really neat back there – seeing the stage up close and personal, the wig and makeup room, the opera urchins making faces at each other, and the shotgun battle rehearsal before the curtain rises. We’re just over thirty minutes away from the start of the show, and so far this has been a great night. We’re set up at a table in the lobby, and the bloggers are quite the spectacle – I’d forgotten how much I enjoy being peered at curiously. This is fun!

There’s a fairly wide range of age groups here. It’s also good to see a wide variety of outfits – the opera doesn’t *have* to be about tiaras and cleavage if that isn’t your style; the people in jeans are not so out of place. Comfort is king, after all – you’re here to take in the performance, not worry about keeping the crease in your evening trousers placed just so. At least, that’s not what *I’M* worried about. As I write this, we’re experiencing Opera Technical Difficulties – the wireless internet went down, and we’re bloggers without a connection to the outside world. It’ s a scary thing, but luckily we are prepared – iPhones come out, laptops are pushed aside. Ling is attempting to get the connection back up for us, but I’m doing quite well personally. After all, live blogging is new to me – remember the analog days when you scribbled thoughts on random paper and tried to write something coherent 12 hours later from the random keywords misspelled on a napkin? Or was that just me? At any rate, it looks like our internet connection is back with just enough time for me to post this before we take our seats, We’ll be back during the intermission to post first thoughts – sit tight, there’s more to come!

20:30: The first act is over, and we’re in intermission. It’s been incredible so far – the performers are astounding! I’ve never really given opera a good listen before – I’d say there isn’t enough angst in opera for me, but dude opera is all angst all the time – but this is really something else. I can’t decide if I get nerd cred or am just a total embarrassment that I definitely recognized one of Carmen’s arias from Family Guy – but on the other hand, Miss604 mentioned Looney Tunes on our way out so I think I’m good.

Ling just brought us food! She’s totally disobeying the “don’t feed the bloggers” sign, but I am so grateful. My pitiful e-pleas seem to have worked, and she snagged us some tasty things. I had a mushroom pouch that was delicious and also for some reason reminded me of the Legend of Zelda.

As far as operas go, I think I’m really lucky to be experiencing Carmen as my very first opera. The costumes are gorgeous – I’m giving some serious thought to wearing corsets in my everyday life – and the subtitles above the stage make it very easy for those of us not fluent in sung French to follow along. That being said, I think I’m going to try to follow Act 2 without the sub (sur) titles. The emotion comes through in the singing so thoroughly that I don’t necessarily think I need to know *exactly* what the words mean – I know I’ve only been here for one act, but I am totally going to do this right.

Can’t wait for Act 2!

21:30: I really hope no one saw me drip an entire pineapple’s worth of juice down my dress.

Act 2 is complete, and there is treachery afoot! This break is a short one, and there are two more acts to go with a brief pause between them. Everyone looks to be having a really good time and just coming out to the lobby to liquor up (or stretch, whatever floats your boat) before we head back in for the last two acts. I don’t think we’ll have time to come out in between the two as the intermission is actually labeled as a pause, but that’s okay – I am taking notes. I don’t guarantee that I’ll be able to read my scribbles at the end of the night, but I am making an effort to remember things to share later. Don’t say I never do anything for you.

23:37: The evening is over and I’m at home. I really want to say more, but I’m exhausted – the drive home was harrowing and probably a little weave-y. I had an incredible time, and I will post a recap tomorrow along with links to the others!

bloggin’ the opera

It’s Opera Night!

I am all ready to be cultured and fabulous for the evening. Last night I prepared my Opera-Going Kit – a change of clothes (my new slinky black dress from Bodacious, my lucky bra, “high” heeled shoes, a tiara [I wasn’t kidding; I’m going to wear a tiara], and a necklace that invites you to inspect my cleavage), my MacBook, my camera, business cards, and a flask of Diet Coke. I am all set! I can’t wait – I’ve never been to an opera OR the Queen Elizabeth Theatre, so my Tuesday will be full of exciting new experiences.

The Vancouver Opera is doing a lot of really neat things to bring opera to the masses. In addition to this inaugural Blogger Night, they’ve released a series of manga comics (click on read, then manga at the bottom of the grey menu bar) based on various shows, some of which have been or are going to be performed by the Vancouver Opera. I fully confess to being a complete opera newb – I know what Carmen is, of course, but not how it all plays out. Reading through the comics gave me a better understanding of the stories behind some famous operas, and it was fun to recognize the plots as the inspirations for some of my favourite things. After all, what is RENT but an updated version of La Bohème?

Tonight’s event is getting a lot of press, too. We got a mention on CBC Radio 2’s blog, a post on Opera Chic, a couple of articles on the Vancouver Opera blog (and oh my god how hilarious is it to see my oranges used in an official manner like that – I’m almost sorry about the whole boob thing, but not really), and a sprinkling of updates all around the web. Since we’ll be blogging at the event, you can keep tabs on what goes on before, during and after a performance: I’ll be joined by Miss 604, Netchick, and Ami from Beyond Robson. Each of us has our own distinct style of writing, and I’ll link all the updates from tonight and tomorrow. Should be neat to see what each of us take away from tonight’s performance of Carmen!

boooooobs. (photo by Tim Matheson)

boooooobs. (photo by Tim Matheson)

airmail potato

I have the best readers in the world.

optimash prime!

optimash prime!

Kristin found this in a store and thought I ought to have it. She sent him to me and he is awesome – the other assorted Optimii are in awe. Hooray for random presents! They are the very best kind of presents! I love getting stuff in the mail, and knowing that people think of you when they see things like this is just awesome. Thank you, Kristin! :D

wwtd?

On the way to Seattle last Friday I spotted a bumper sticker on the back of a car reading “WWTD?”. Since then, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out who “T” is, and why we should pause to think about what he or she would do in our place. Unable to come up with a reasonable solution, I turned to the internet to decipher the sticker because it’s kind of driving me crazy.

Unfortunately, the internet isn’t coming forth with any one clear answer. Among the possible solutions:

  • What Would Tom Do? – this was Ed’s suggestion, but mostly because he just loves Tom of MySpace
  • What Would Tyra Do? – she came up in Google more than once. I know she has a talk show and it’s somewhat popular, but it just doesn’t seem to fit the puzzle. The car was an older model of Toyota or something, and driven by a guy. It was nondescript in every way, except for the bumper sticker – nothing about the situation gave any indication that Tyra (or any talk show really) played any sort of part in the daily routine of the car owner.
  • What Would Tyler Durden Do? – nice try, but there was definitely only one D
  • What Would Tebow Do? – Apparently this guy plays football. Does that warrant a bumper sticker? Beats me; I don’t question the idiotic things sports fans do.
  • What Would Taft Do? – It’s important to know what think about what the president in 1909 would have thought about your life.
  • What Would Tyrone Do? – I don’t know who Tyrone is, but I can’t imagine the need to give it any thought in relation to my own plans
  • What would Thor Do? – Okay, I can get behind this one. Especially if every answer is “hit it with a giant hammer”.

None of these seem commercial enough to have a line of bumper stickers, though. It is really bugging me that I can’t figure this out. I almost rolled down my window to ask the driver of the car, but we split off into two lanes at that point and I lost track of him.

Is there something I’m missing here? I’m usually up to date on my pop culture knowledge, but I absolutely can’t figure this one out. Any hints?

Here are some of my own theories:

  • What Would (a) Tyrannosaurus (Rex) Do?
  • What Would Trevor Do?
  • Which Way To Denmark? – while “WWxD” is generally accept as a play on What Would Jesus Do, there’s really nothing that says the letters can’t mean something else
  • Wangs Wangs Tasty Dongs – ..

Yeah. Help!

zzzz

I am not at all mentally here today. I woke up in a daze this morning, and I’ve been quite unable to shake it off. I am sad, and I do not know why.

Boooooo-urns.

so hey redux

Words
Words
Words

…

I FAKE POST!

River is awesome.

River is, of course, Ali and Doug’s daughter. She’s also virtually the only child I am not afraid of, because she is frickin’ hilarious. Ed hasn’t seen River since she was around 9 months old, so we were long overdue for a visit.

Unfortunately, Sasha’s condition makes it pretty impossible to leave her alone for a weekend. We wracked our brains trying to make the original weekend plans feasible – a concert on Friday night followed by a weekend hanging out with Doug and Ali – but we just didn’t want to risk Sasha’s health and the amount of trouble Lemon would get into if left alone for an entire weekend. Compounding things were the series of time-sensitive errands I needed to run in the US – namely returning or exchanging things purchased last month, before the statute of consumer limitations expired.

We (okay, I) finally came up with a workable plan: as Sasha’s ultrasound was postponed until February 2nd (highly contagious disease + cats = no animals  allowed in vet until weekend is past + traveling radiologist = reschedule) AND we had already taken the time off for our mini adventure, we would cram an entire weekend’s worth of fun into one very long day. We set out just after 9am and made our way south, stopping in at the usual haunts and having lunch at the best Mexican place in the west, Mi Mexico. We continued down the I-5, completing the To-Do list in record time. Then it was off to Ali’s place to hang out for the evening, opting to skip the concert and instead spend some much-needed time with old friends. I think we made an excellent choice, as we had a great deal of fun and River was in fine spirits, providing hilarious entertainment value for the entire evening. Doug treated us to dinner, we played some Rock Band, and around 10:30 we hit the road to return home. We got in just after 1am, tired but happy.

Ali’s explained it once before on her blog, but River has this little joke she plays where she’ll start boo-hooing and sniffling a little, then stop and announce “I FAKE CRY!” and laugh her head off. Don’t forget, this child is two months shy of 2 years old. She faked crying for a bit, then changed it up – she let loose a hearty HA! HA! HA! then followed it up with “I FAKE LAUGH!”. We were in tears – it’s probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, and as such deserved a tribute post. Here’s to River’s continued hilarity!

Thank you all for the pill-feeding suggestions! I’ll try them out and see what works. I have to go medicate Sasha now, so wish me luck.

selling out for fun, not profit

I’ve tried for a very long time to hold fast my morals and scruples and ethics, but at the end of the day all it gets me is a smug sense of self-imagined superiority and no fun toys. I don’t make any money off my website and will continue to stand firm and proud in my clearance bin pants and ramen noodles, but as of today I will officially be accepting products from various companies in exchange for a review or shout out.

I’ve done this in the past, of course, but on a more discreet scale. For some reason I’ve always felt slightly awkward about placing the Delicious Juice Stamp of Approval on things for fear of selling out to the man, but when you really look at it, who the hell is ever going to look for my personal thumbs up before they try something? I’m usually awash with false modesty, but let’s be realistic here: no one reads my website to learn about advances in personal gadgetry; they come for the hardcore nudity and swearing and also for the flow charts.

I feel that I must stress – probably needlessly, but I didn’t become a millionaire on my ability to hold things in – that my words will not change in any way. My style is still very much my own, regardless of what I’m writing about. Mops or boobs, fabric softener or scooters – it’s all Kimli, all the time. I don’t feel any sort of pressure for or against saying things like “this frozen creamed spinach is fucking awesome; I would totally have sex with it if I was ever in the mood to have carnal relations with leafy plants from Nepal” or to stop making broad sweeping generalizations with sly references to Star Trek and comic books I read once when I was 11. It’s all good. It just means I have a few more mystery packages on the way.

You’ll still love me if I sell out a little bit, right?

mad about tulle

I don’t ski or snowboard or do anything that requires me to voluntarily be wet and cold, but even I hate the bastards getting off the Seabus at 8am with all their gear. Why should they get to have fun frolicking on a mountaintop while I am at work wrestling with routers (literally; I fight under the name El Gato sin Pantalones)? I call shenanigans on them, the lousy slackers.

I am amused to find myself slightly obsessed with tulle. After all, tulle played a large part in the saga of my wedding dress woes – there was frankly too much of it, and my mind broke. At the time, I never wanted to see tulle again. Fast forward to today – I want tulle. Lots of it. I want a series of increasingly fluffy skirts, each with many layers of tulle in fabulous colours. I am well aware of my own home ec shortcomings and inexplicable fear of my sewing machine, but I really think I could make myself a tulle skirt very easily. I am tempted to try, and I bet I could convince Miranda to be my partner in crime as she knows her way around both the fabric store and a sewing machine. This could happen. It could be glorious, in a way probably only I can truly appreciate.

Last night I did some thinking about my recovered wallet and the bizarre shit filed under “things that only happen to Kimli” that came with it. The money that was in my wallet was long gone, which was entirely expected. What wasn’t expected was the fact that my prescription was also missing. I got everything back (and promptly cut up all the credit cards), but my refill for crazy pills wasn’t there. I’ve already replaced the prescription and am basking in my chemically induced sanity, but that’s weird. Who takes a prescription in someone else’s name? It’s not like you can fill it or get high off it or anything.

Along that line of thought, who admits to taking the cash in the wallet, takes the small reward you offered (after initially refusing it), then calls you up after you leave to attempt to extort more money out of you?

That guy, apparently. Watch out for him.

good morning starshine

Every single overhead light in the Lab was on this morning.

We are nocturnal nerds, and we like to work in the dark. Imagine my shock and dismay when I came into work this morning to see every single fluorescent light on – this lighting does nothing for my complexion, or my head because I get stupid migraines when forced to work under fluorescents. Luckily, they were all turned due to the fixtures being replaced and as I whine, a man with a ladder is coming around and removing bulbs for those people who prefer to work by radar and braille.

Josh introduced us to a delicious Japanese candy called Puccho, and on Sunday we were delighted to discover a cache of previously undiscovered Puccho flavours at the Japanese store on Robson. We stocked up and traded flavours, basking in the chewy goodness. There is no English on the wrapper, so we had to determine the flavour based on the pictures on the labels:

delicious puccho!

delicious puccho!

I haven’t tried most of these yet, but near as I can tell we have:

  • White
  • Horseback-Riding Strawberry
  • Peach
  • Babushka Orange
  • Fish-Squirting Pea
  • Sherlock Blueberry
  • Ski Jumping Apple
  • Horrific Oozing Monster
  • Elvis

Not shown: Patriotic Banana, Grape

Delicious!

Oh, and I got my wallet back. The retrieval was .. odd. I have it back though, and that’s all that matters. So what if I feel a pressing need to double-bolt my door? It’s all good. Wallet is safe and stapled to my person, and that is all that’s important.

Happy Obama Day, everyone!