the following takes place between 08:00 and 09:00

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

For the last two weeks, there have been two mysterious bundles attached to beams on opposite sides of the Lions Gate Bridge. They’re strapped to a post overlooking the water, wrapped in black plastic, and have an ominous antenna poking out the top.

Maybe I’ve been watching too many alarmist news casts on CNN, but these bundles freak me the fuck out. Someone should email Jack Bauer and have him take a look. I bet they’re BOMBS! Bombs planted by TERRORISTS! Terrorists who HATE FREEDOM and also the NORTH SHORE!

When I drove by the mystery bundles this morning, I noted that they were still there and still terrifying – but someone had wrapped yellow caution tape around them that read “ALL CLEAR”. That’s good, right? That means someone looked at them and decided they were harmless?

Or maybe that’s what the terrorists WANT us to think! They are trying to lull us into an uneasy sense of security, and what is more secure than a large bundle wrapped in black plastic with an antenna sticking out with a bright yellow label saying it is ALL CLEAR? I sure feel safe now! Move along, nothing to see here!

Seriously, though. What the hell is in those bundles, and why do they look so scary. This is doing my overactive imagination no good whatsoever.

Today my shoes do not match:

sexy!

Please take pity on me by leaving a comment – there are still 3 days left in the CANS for COMMENTS Extravaganza! Leave a comment! Feed some people! I like exclamation point! Hooray!

9Dec2008

oh snap

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

My feet always hurt. For those of you just joining us, here’s why:

this is not normal

This picture was actually taken during the good old days, when my feet only mostly always hurt instead of my current situation of non-stop throbbing pain. What you’re not seeing is what happens after many repeat stress fractures and bone scarring – today, that x-ray would actually be WORSE.

Things took a turn for the “oh holy fuck what now” last night when an audible SNAP rang out from my left foot. I couldn’t put any pressure on it, no matter how much swearing I did. Knowing that my left foot does things like this from time to time, I decided to pop a couple Motrin and see what things were like in the morning because I am hardcore like that.

It’s now morning, and while the pain is not as bad as last night, there is still a great deal of ouch going on down there. I should probably do something about this, so I’m hobbling off to the doctor this morning so they can send me around town getting x-ray’d for fun and profit.

Hooray!

Today would have been my dad’s 94th birthday. I love him and miss him every day, but I really wish I hadn’t inherited his deformed feet. I’m grateful for the rest – the love of writing, the filthy and inappropriate sense of humour, the surprisingly powerful baseball pitch, the ease in front of a microphone – but he really could have kept the feet.

dad would have been confused by the anthromorphic cat condo

8Dec2008

more like funday am i rite

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

Yesterday was my first post-less day since October 19th. Crazy!

The weekend was surprisingly productive. Ed and I spent Saturday taking turns playing Fallout 3 and running errands, getting a great deal of stuff done. I found a great gift for the Lab’s Secret Santa (that I will miss, because they moved it to this Thursday instead of the 23rd) and I am all ready to bake up a frosted storm of deliciousness (assuming I can actually find the time to perform said magical tasks of deliciousness).

Sunday was even better. I was up bright and early to go to the Got Craft? show on Commercial. I left the house ridiculously early in an attempt to score one of the goodie bags given to the first 30 people through the door, but alas – it seemed almost 100 people had that very same idea and I was very far from the front of the line. It’s all good though – Miranda was there to take pictures for the event, so we got in early and free. Hooray! I played backup photographer, mostly taking pictures for my own amusement but some of them actually turned out pretty good.

After crafting (from which I purchased a truly fantastic pinstripe bag made by smeeta), Miranda, Reilly, Erin and I went to Stella’s for brunch. It was slow but tasty, and plans were made for an evening of pizza and tree decorating. More fun! I headed home (forgetting to buy beer), played some more Fallout, and put some pants back on in preparation for company.

This week is going to be a crazy one. Two Amanda Palmer shows, a trip to Seattle, Lemon’s pre-neutering checkup visit, and a full day of trying not to be sad. So busy! I am not complaining though; I am having a great deal of fun. Can you not tell by my pictures of things? Look at these things!

And comment on something, please! Cans for Comments is on until Friday the 12th! We’re almost at 100 cans for the Food Bank on this site alone; let’s see how many more you can make me donate!

smoking is bad, but old cigar boxes rule

always do as the sign says

shiny things !!

6Dec2008

victory

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by kimli

The battle was long and hard, but in the end, I emerge victorious – Banjo is running a stable XP with sound and ethernet. They said it couldn’t be done. They said I was a mad man; said I was playing god. They said Vista was my destiny, and that I should really put on some pants – but who’s laughing now? WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?!??

That’d be me. I’M laughing now. NO MORE VISTA! ALL HAIL XP!

I will take my leave now to do a naked victory lap around the living room, but before I go let me leave you with this:

Yes, multiple comments will result in multiple cans of food being donated
An attention whore? Really? I just think bukkake is fucking hilarious, is all
Sorry Ro – you can’t choose your can, but I will try to pick something awesome in your name :)
Keep those comments coming, people!
I BEAT YOU, VISTA! NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH

5Dec2008

cans for comments

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

Miranda asked if I wanted to take part in this awesome food raiser, so I am delighted to announce my participation in Cans for Comments:

Cans for Comments

It’s very simple – comment on any Delicious Juice Dot Com post, and for every comment left between today and next Friday, I will donate one can of food to the food bank. Come out of the woodwork and say hello for an awesome cause!

These beautiful people are also taking part in the Cans for Comments blitz, so visit their sites and say hello to see even more cans donated to Vancouver’s food banks!

5Dec2008

japanese for splash

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

I was late for work this morning because I was caught up in some bukkake:

mmm ooooh yes yes more

If this doesn’t make you vote for me in the Best of 604 Awards, I simply don’t know what will.

4Dec2008

well look at that

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

My humble (snerk) little blog was nominated in the Best Personal Site or Blog category for the Best of 604 awards. If you truly think I belong there, please consider voting for me!

Some facts about Delicious Juice Dot Com:

I’ve been posting non-stop since March of 2001
When I say “non-stop”, I truly mean it – there are blogs that have been around longer, but I have a great deal more content. My longest period without posting to date was the week I took off for our wedding in 2002; I’ve posted a minimum of 6 times a week since Day One (and often more)
I’m completely sponsor-free – I do not make a penny off this website
I never ask people for anything (except for the occasional vote, like right now)
Delicious Juice Dot Com is indeed a personal blog – there’s no corporate bullshit, I don’t sell ad space or review products in exchange for freebies (except that one time I got a Zune) and I’ve written some deeply personal things on here
I rarely tell you what I had for lunch
Sometimes I post pictures of my cleavage (although not intentionally; they just get in the way)
I am nice to strangers

I’m starting to get silly, so I’ll leave it at that. Like I said, if you truly think I belong on that list, please think about tossing me a vote. Voting is open until December 10th at midnight, so have at it. There are a bunch of other categories with some truly excellent sites; check them out when you’re done voting for me (see what I did there).

3Dec2008

day one

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

I foolishly started the formatting process at 8pm. It .. hasn’t gone well, I’m afraid. I’m so very tired, but I can’t sleep – something I did caused a BSOD, then .. nothingness. My machine wouldn’t boot at all. I’d get the HP welcome screen, then an inky blackness that seemed to pierce my very soul and mock me from its depths. I’ve started again from scratch, and am watching the progress bar slowly crawl along as setup copies files. I’ve done this a thousand times before, but tonight it is ominous. I do not know how much longer I can hold out, but I must go on. Dear Elsie, please think of me fondly and do not fret. I will return to you either in body or spirit – I am in god’s hands now, and only he holds the final chapter of my life. Does it end here on these endless sands? Will I be saved and return to you, my body and mind intact? I long to see you but once more to say so many words, but it will have to suffice that I close my eyes and dream of your sweet smile. Your voice echoes in my ears, and though I am tormented by these devil reboots I am comforted.

Yours truly,

Hans

PS: please send me LAN and sound drivers for an HP dv9824ca

3Dec2008

festive, damnit

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

I am getting pretty desperate to find drivers for Banjo, my home laptop. He came pre-loaded with Vista Home, which is just fucking awful. I want to format him seven ways to Sunday, then install XP. Is that so much to ask?

Apparently, it is. There are no drivers for anything in my machine for XP, meaning I have to go Vista or go repeatedly hit my head against the wall until the OS isn’t so terrible. These are not good options. Damn you, Vista. I hate you SO HARD.

I think I’m going to live life on the edge and install XP anyway. I have other machines that I can use to look up compatible drivers online and try to get it working. If it’s an epic fail, I can at least install Vista Pro and all the HP bloatware will still be gone. It’s all just a huge pain in the ass, but I do so love the crispness of a wiped machine. It’ll be awesome. I hope.

It looks like the gang is going snowboarding this weekend, so I’ll be on my own. What better time than to do some pre-holiday cleaning and hard drive formatting? We’re putting the tree up at some point this weekend, which will be an adventure because of Lemon. He’s adorable, but he’s a right bastard. I think we’re going to decorate the top half of the tree only, in an attempt to keep him from destroying all the ornaments. Should be incredibly frustrating. I can’t wait.

I’m starting to get a little excited about the holiday season, even if the various Grinches in my life are making the usual noises. It’s hard to be cheerful about things sometimes when all you hear is moaning and groaning (the bad kind, not the good kind) – I guess I just don’t understand the thrill of pissing on someone’s cornflake parade. Regardless, I am getting right jolly about things. I’m about halfway through my holiday shopping already, and super excited about giving presents to my peoples. Yay for giving!

Also, yay for 100% acrylic! I found a fantastic sweater over the weekend that has NO WOOL in it, so I am wearing it and looking sassy and am just generally full of glee and Diet Coke. I’m either high, or really excited about my robot butler.