If you know me in meatspace and are not afraid to eat food prepared in my kitchen, it would be in your best interest to develop a sudden overwhelming desire for frozen treats.

I’ve decided that I am All About making popsicles. Not the boring juice-in-freezer kind, but Upscale Fancy Pops that require power tools and ingredients found deep in Alps at dawn on Tuesday mornings when the temperature soars above 15C and sniffed out by a Argentinian donkey named after Neil Gaiman. Rare ingredients. I am all about them.

I got up early this morning (I may have OD’d on sleep yesterday) and made two batches of test pops: Vanilla Elderflower, and Toasted Coconut Cream. They won’t be ready for tasting for many hours, so in the meantime I’m gathering ingredients (by donkey) for the next two recipes to try: Lime Pie and Sugar Pumpkin. I will need people to eat these pops, because I want to try them all but I cannot possibly eat an entire batch to free up my molds. This is a serious problem, and one that can be solved by YOU.

The silence coming from this corner of the internet belies the activity swirling around me on a daily basis. Among the things I meant to write about but ran out of time/forgot/was too busy drinking Jägerbombs wrong are:

• Ed and I went to a Footballs game last Saturday, courtesy of work. It was my first football game ever, I had no idea what was going on, and I want the orange vinyl boots the cheerleaders wear but Sam won’t let me get any. It was also my first time inside BC Place since the upgrades (I don’t sports often), and it is very nice inside. I like.
• For the last two Fridays, I’ve been out drinking with coworkers to say goodbye as everybody leaves me for greener (literal and metaphorical) pastures. Last Friday was the worst, and I almost cried several times. I hate goodbyes, and two of my favourites just left: Monday is going to suck because they’re gone and because I think I left the tequila open on my desk, and next Friday is going to suck when we do it all over again to say goodbye to an additional 6 people. I’ve also heard some extremely disturbing rumours that management is planning on moving me away from my hard-earned new desk over to a terrible desk in the Sales area, and I am kind of pissed about that: do you have any idea how many people I had to kill to sit where I am now? MANY. Don’t move me, damnit.
• I obeyed the law on Tuesday, and doing so RUINED MY LIFE.
• I had to take the written test again to renew my learner’s license, but now I can ride Lola as long as I have an adult accompanying me and it is daylight out and I go slow like snails. Luckily, I don’t have to wait to take my parking lot test: I can do that right away, and my road test soon after. If nothing else, getting that enormous ticket (which I still haven’t paid – hey, anyone want to buy some Fancy Pops?) spurred me into action – with a little Energon and a lot of luck, I may be completely legal mid-August. That would be super.
• We went swimming on Thursday night, for the first time in FOREVER (more specifically, since Cuba). It was so much fun, and I saw a tiny version of me. More swimming needs to happen; perhaps even some Night Swimming. 1992, I will relive you yet.

Today I need to .. do stuff. I had a game plan, but I appear to have forgotten it. Does anyone remember what I wanted to do today? Other than impatiently wait for popsicles to freeze? For some reason I think it had something to do with pants, which is strange as I do not wear pants. Maybe burning some pants? That must be it. To the fire pit!