I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON.

I read a story about a woman who needs a kidney. She’s taken her search to Facebook, because although she’s at the top of the transplant list, she’s unable to find a donor through traditional methods due to a rare blood type. I followed the link to Facebook and checked the page out of curiosity (after checking my self-diagnosed blood type and finding that I am actually a match), because hey I’m not really using my kidneys and I could potentially give one up. I wanted to learn more about the potential recipient of my flesh gift.

.. who, it turns out, will never get MY kidney, because she misuses your/you’re and also thanks God for keeping her alive although requiring near-daily dialysis for 8+ years as she waits for a miracle.

Sorry, but MY organs are earmarked for people who properly attribute their lot in life to science/technology/hard work/genetics and have a solid grasp of the English language. Seriously, there’s a test. Multiple choice, long answer, and essay. Show your work.

(I’m honestly only terrible for the sake of a blog post – if I can donate, I will. I’m already an organ donor, and I’ve submitted myself online to be checked for this specific match. I do think that they will find I am too fat/old/full of chemicals/half cyborg/godless heathen/probably not actually B+ to donate, but if the call comes, I’m here. Don’t judge me! At least not for this!)

So hey, how about those Seahawks? Go sports!