.. you’ve just unlocked the Crying at Work badge!
also unlocked: second guessing your ability to do your job!
It’s been an awesome day.
congratulations
Monthly Archives: September 2009
about to crack
Hey, Kimli! Why have your posts been so short and crappy this week?
i hate the person who discovered you can overlap appointments
Also, I am beyond disgusted that I had to threaten my team with being thrown into a Sarlacc pit only to have them ask me “What’s a Sarlacc?”.
Kids these days don’t have a CLUE.
skin like a naked chick
I went to the drug store on my lunch break because I need drugs. The Pharmasave in Bentall 2 has a fairly juicy clearance section, and on this trip I found the Neutrogena Wave on sale for $9. I’m curious about this thing, and god knows I love a good exfoliation so I bought one.
If I can trust the commercials on TV, not only will my skin be glowing after just one use, you’ll also be able to easily find naked pictures of me all over the internet in two separate scandals that somehow don’t ruin my Disney career or side job as a beard to the world’s most comely twink.
my thumbs aren’t idle
Contrary to popular belief, my life hasn’t been all sexy swinger’s parties and grown-up decisions lately: I’ve managed to squeeze in a fair amount of video game playing (at the expense of other things, like housework and non-anonymous sex).
So, what have I been passing my time with lately?
DS:
Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
To say that I was eagerly awaiting this sequel to last year’s Professor Layton and the Curious Village was a bit of an understatement. The game itself didn’t disappoint – the good Professor was just as uptight as ever, his “assistant” was raising eyebrows of the authorities, and everything was just so delightfully British. The puzzles range from easy to murderously confusing, and more than once I found myself looking things up online because I just could not figure it out on my own. They added some mini-games that increase the amount of content – you can brew tea, exercise a fat hamster, and build a camera; all of which unlock even more things to see and do. You might blaze through the story quickly enough, but to go back and complete everything is where you’ll find a lot of the action.
And yet .. I wasn’t feeling it. I love the series and would gladly recommend it to just about anyone, but I wasn’t head over heels about the sequel as I assumed I would be. I think there might be several reasons for this – I was sick while playing the game, and being unable to remember my own name and at the same time attempting to solve complicated math puzzles or garlic puns would frustrate anyone – but at the end of the day, the Professor was spent and pleased with himself while I laid there dissatisfied and unfulfilled. I might go back and give it another try to see if I can’t spark the old flame, but something was missing.
Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story
The third entry in the Mario & Luigi RGP series is a damn good one that you shouldn’t pass up. It’s got all the fun you’d normally find in a Mario title, but in an adventure format AND it’s hilarious to boot. I’m 19 hours in and there’s no end in sight. Where else can you roam around the inside of Bowser’s gut while a toothy alien nerd has chortles at you from the outside? This game is great. I am enjoying it mightily.
Scribblenauts
Rooster Hat aside, Scribblenauts is very, very good .. but not great. It’s as inventive and amazing and hilarious as you want to make it, but the actual movement of Max (the guy in the Rooster Hat) is so clunky you might be driven to fits of shrieking which’ll scare the cat into launching off your thigh with all the power of his claws and 22 pounds of horse muscle, and that will hurt. The game itself is huge – there are 10 levels each with 11 puzzles and 11 action scenes, as well as encouraging you to repeat scenes using different objects, getting you extra points. The game isn’t always clear what it wants from you though, or something that you think should work won’t come out the way you intended – trial and error is a big part of it. It’s really cool though, and I’m liking it a lot – it’s my Go To game when I get tired of wandering around Bowser’s bowels in search of mushrooms.
PS3:
Little Big Planet
We’re a little late on the bandwagon for this one, but we were waiting for a PS3 price drop. We picked up the Game of the Year edition (for $8, thank you EB trade-in policy) which comes with a whole lot of extras – it’s well worth it to seek out the GOTY copy, if you’re in the market to buy the game. Little Big Planet is incredible, and it’s easy to see why it’s the flagship title of the PS3. Ed and I are playing it together – literally the first game we’ve ever attempted to play co-op all the way through – and it’s a great deal of fun. It’s very cute and looks amazing in HD and the hardest part is not playing ahead but waiting for both of us to be available to play. We have a date to night to play some more levels, and once we’re far enough ahead I’m going to play through it single player to collect the things I’ve missed – but it’s a truly original game, and one that is well worth getting for the PS3 – or getting a PS3 for, if you’re in the market.
Katamari Forever
Maybe I’m just too used to paying DS title prices, but PS3 games are incredibly expensive. As a result, we’re trying to keep our collection down to excellent titles only. We have exactly two PS3 games – Little Big Planet and Katamari Forever (technically the entire reason I wanted a PS3).
It’s .. well, it’s a Katamari game. You either love the games, or you don’t get them. I am absolutely in the “love” category – but this is the 5th title on the 4th console, and they’re all the same. Katamari Damacy was a breakthrough title – We Love Katamari was even better, both story wise and in game play – and the others .. well, they’re Katamari games. They’re good, funny, creative, fun – and exactly the same. The King breaks the universe, The Prince is tasked to create replacements, and the katamari keeps on spinnin’.
If you’ve never played a Katamari game before and only have a PS3, then get this one. If you have access to a PS2, get the first or second title instead. Die-hards will buy this one and they’ll enjoy it, but there’s really nothing to write home about. Disappointing, but it’s very difficult if not impossible to recapture the original magic – that’s why you move onto new things, like Little Big Planet.
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days comes out today – my copy is waiting for me at EB Park Royal – but it’ll be a while before I can get to it. Titles are finally starting to back up again, but I’m pretty sure nothing comes out between now and December (the new Zelda DS title) so I can catch up on my games and maybe get some sleep.
whirlwind
It’s crazy around these parts lately; so much so that the usual tabs I keep on my people are wildly out of sync. Why, I couldn’t even tell you what everyone has planned for the next three weekends. It’s a travesty.
Houses are being bought, and it’s terribly exciting. Ed and I are behind the times, but we’re catching up – the decision to seriously look into buying a place has been made, and baby steps have been taken. I don’t even know if you could call them baby steps anymore; we have a pre-approval for a laughable enormous number and could technically buy something we can’t afford as early as tomorrow.
We won’t, though. We are taking it slow and easy. There’s no deadline – crime on our street isn’t suddenly going to get worse by a certain date, forcing our hand – so we’ll see what’s out there and find a home that’s perfect for us (much like the one we saw yesterday that was perfect, unavailable, and several tens of thousands out of our comfort price range – seriously, why are you even showing it).
Ed and I are surprisingly calm about all of this. Money is probably the biggest beef we have between us (not including his penis), but we aren’t stressing out about the numbers. I crunched them but good one morning, and found that we spend an awful lot of money on nothing – we could easily move some of what we spend on ale and whores each month into the scary mortgage column and still be too sore to walk in the morning.
It’s all very proper and grown up and hilarious. I’m looking forward to finding a new home, though. We love North Vancouver and want to stay here, and I’m exploring the deliciousness of possibly having multiple floors. I can’t help but be a little sad when I think that we won’t be living so close to Josh and Shan anymore – it’ll be hard to beat one floor away – but we will now have to make an effort to hang out. Still, I’m only half joking when I ask them to keep an eye out for any vacancies in their new building. Who else am I going to feed when I make too much food, or go to for wardrobe advice when I haven’t got the foggiest idea what would pass as appropriate?
Buying houses is serious business, but all I can think about is bright green paint.
about last night
I tried my hand at inventing a shot, solely because I wanted to call something “The Glory Hole”:
soho, bols, grenadine, whipped cream and diabeetus
I was banned from creating drinks after Chris drank my next concoction:
mangalore and sourpuss with two bacon jelly beans
While the idea was mine – anyone named “Chris” had to take their pants off – I take no responsibility for this:
there go two more future careers in politics
This was my idea too: the Hipster Swap (hashtag #hipsterswap on Twitter):
we tried to make people go home with someone else's phone, but then the tears started
This was Darren’s fault, though:
i'd hit it two times
He brought along the Beer Monster shirt, saying he would do a shot of Jager for every person who put on the shirt – thinking we wouldn’t do it. His fall came fast and furious:
now do you understand why i do not wear t-shits?
Josh repeatedly said last night “why is this happening to me?”:
at least he kept his pants on
There were shots with meatballs in them:
ed and chris: brave or crazy?
Some had fruit:
fruit and whipped cream seems kind of pussy after meatballs
Everything had a great deal of alcohol:
no one thought to try tabasco and whipped cream
It was an excellent party.
Huge thanks to Miranda and Reilly for being such excellent and unflappable hosts, the myriad of excellent people who showed up, and Reilly for the incriminating photos (the rest of which can be seen here)!
swinging with nerds
Key Parties are so 1973:
i went home with a blackberry pearl
oh my
Inappropriate thoughts for a Friday morning:
The guy in the elevator with me had an ENORMOUS package. It was huge. I couldn’t stop taking sidelong glances at it and wondering what he was packing in there. He was a fairly skinny guy with no ass but well-fitting jeans, and his junk made a large and extremely noticeable bulge. I even moved around the elevator a little to look at it from a different angle, and it was just very big all over. I may have had to fan myself. I wanted to congratulate him, but that may have been awkward.
Man, that was a big package. gg, guy who works on the 22nd floor in my building and I think might be named Carlos.
ok for kisses?
If I wasn’t so afraid of people, this is exactly how I would pick up girls:
ok? ok?
I want that hair, too.
hostile witness
This radio “silence” (Kimli-style; it means I’ve gone more than 12 hours without updating) is really bothering me, and I apologize – I’ve been insanely busy at work and haven’t been able to take even the ten minutes I usually set aside to write my deep, meaningful updates. As a result, you get crappy little posts like this one, where I apologize for not being entertaining or useful or coherent. They promise me that all this will end eventually and I’ll get my mornings back – but until then, you will have to bare with me as I struggle to train the universe on complicated procedures for no fun and minimal profit.
I hate not writing (other than to write about how I can’t write). It makes me worry that I’ll lose all seven of my readers because I skipped an update. You won’t leave me, will you?
If it helps you stay, there is a picture of my boobs under the cut.
delicious juice dot com 