rollerskates and braces

You take the good (Angry Guy is no longer heading up his department! My people are back from their trip!), you take the bad (no Q3 bonus! Christmas is canceled!), you take them both and there you have my Wednesday morning.

We moved our mattress back into the bedroom last night. I was tired and full of fury at the thought of sleeping in unholy configurations for one more night, and figured if the roof was going to fall in it would have already done so. I’m also choked at our landlord, whose helpful suggestion of “I’ll bring you a dehumidifier, that’ll fix everything” has not materialized – he was supposed to bring one over on Monday so we could start drying out the room, but he didn’t. He wanted us to dry things out for at least a couple days before he brought repair people in, so we’ll be living with a damp ceiling and no light as well as a demolished living room because the ceiling is still bleeding plaster for the unforeseeable future. Ed called him last night to find out what the deal is and got voice mail with no call back, so we are in limbo. Angry, angry limbo. Why, I’ve got half a mind to just move!

We are looking at potential homes as quickly they appear. By my calculations, we’ve seen 14 places so far with one failed attempt to buy. The pickings are fairly slim at the moment, but we’re doing what we can – we saw a place last night that was really nice inside, but way too small for us and also it did not come with the pug that lived there so why bother. We got to the building really early, and in the half hour we sat in the car waiting, I counted four people pissing on things within eyesight of the street. Inside the lobby were multiple notices about break-ins in the underground parking area and the building, and they might be moving St. Paul’s hospital into the lot across the street. All that for 816 sq ft and one bathroom? WOO! At the very least, I’m starting to feel less hopeless about the whole thing. I’m also having a great deal of fun giving nicknames to all the places we’ve seen, so I can keep them straight in my head:

  • Awesome Townhouse We Couldn’t Buy
  • Water Damage on Commercial
  • Too Many Carpets
  • Smokers Suck
  • Almost Perfect but Not Quite
  • Dank and Smelly; Do NOT Open the Dishwasher
  • What the Flying Fuck There’s a Sink in the Bedroom Closet
  • The One (That Turned Out To Not Be the One)
  • Warehouse Sized Bedroom Fireplace Pink Kitchen
  • (two week break because we thought we were done)
  • Spiral Staircase of Death
  • Wendy’s Parking Lot with Hidden Jesus
  • Creaky Floor Child Factory
  • Arched Doorway Tiny Kitchen
  • Enclosed Bedroom No Pug Crime Spree Toilet Place

There are a few other places I’m curious about, too:

  • Wacky Kitchen
  • Here is All My Money; I’ll Take It Based on Pictures Alone
  • South Vancouver is the Devil, No Matter How Many Sq Ft It Is
  • Out of my Price Range But Maybe They’ll Take Less

It is a good thing I enjoy making my own fun.

6 thoughts on “rollerskates and braces

    • Hi Ed.

      I think Kimli wants a Pug.

      You’ll never ever regret it. Ever.

      Soooo cute and snorty and wiggly – how could you not love one?

  1. There’s a town in Northern Ontario called “Moose Factory” which makes me giggle every time I hear it. “Child Factory” comes a close second.

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