good at birth

Ali is a month or two away from popping out her second child, and has been bemoaning the task of writing her birth plan. I don’t know what that is, but I assume it’s like having to write up your goals or self-evaluation package at work. Everyone hates those things – for some reason putting “fewer murderous black-out rages at the office” is not a valid goal to have – but I’m always up for a challenge, so I thought I would help Ali out. After all, I’m a technical writer and I saw someone giving birth once on the internet so this should be easy.

With that in mind, I present to you the Delicious Juice Dot Birth Plan:

click to embiggen and see entire flow chart

Good luck with the baby, Ali! Let me know if my birth plan worked for you!

Tonight I will be at the Museum of Vancouver, selling Smuttons with Miranda and Andrea and other crafty people. Won’t you join us? It will be a Good Time!

8 thoughts on “good at birth

  1. Only one problem with your birth plan… it’s more of a fertility plan. I think it could work for my friends who are trying to get pregnant, but it won’t get the parasite out of my belly!

    May I request “Phase Two” of your plan?

  2. You missed the entire Boobs Get Bigger and stay that way until you think you get to keep them, then poof, gone, must repeat from Step One.

  3. Pingback: mmx in review « delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

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