some ‘splainin’ to do

Every time someone says something good on Twitter about Calgary, I am fairly quick to jump in with a disparaging fact or statement about the city and/or gloating about ways in which Vancouver is better. Even *I* think it’s getting to be a little obnoxious, and I feel I should explain why I hate Calgary so much:

Truth is, I really don’t. The city itself is fine, if not my cup of tea – I can’t imagine living anywhere that doesn’t have the ocean at my front door and mountains in my backyard (which coincidentally makes the list places I could stand living in very small indeed). I lived in Calgary for seven years (and two weeks, and three days, and 4 hours), and I would be hard-pressed to say that I hated every minute of it – there were some things I definitely liked about the city.

When I bitch about Calgary and all the things I hate about it, I’m really thinking about how bad things were for me in that period of my life. I was cataclysmically depressed for most of the time I spent in Alberta, and even thinking about going back gives me an actual panic attack; it was so bad. I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day in those seven years ever again – suicidally depressed, manic, without friends, unemployed, miserable, fighting with Ed a lot – it was bad. Really, really bad. When I think about Calgary, I think about all the times I very nearly threw myself under a bus just to end all the bad things. I know that’s dumb, but I can’t help it – even the words “moving to Calgary” make me almost want to vomit with terror, and I try to deflect that by repeatedly bringing up things like the snow and cold and lack of spring.

My resentment towards Edmonton, however, is entirely different.

So, sorry Calgary. I know I’m doing you a disservice every time I bitch about you on Twitter. I think it’s best for the both of us if I just stay here in Vancouver where I belong; don’t you agree?

One thought on “some ‘splainin’ to do

  1. I’m Australian and I came to Canada last year. I spent the first week in Vancouver and then I moved to Calgary.

    … Yeah it was quite a culture shock and I spent the first six months bitching and moaning about why I made such a stupid decision and then criticising my girlfriend for having the NERVE to be from such a boring, conservative, back asswards place and why couldn’t we live in Vancouver, blah, blah, blah (I really am the worst girlfriend ever). Sometimes I anted to just throw myself into the river and be done with the thing.

    So I can definitely relate!

    However, I find that the longer that I stay here, the more awesome people I meet, the fantastic arts scene I discover, the gorgeous mountains, and the weird tendancy that people have of STOPPING THEIR CARS not only at pedestrian crossings but often for jaywalkers as well (I visited Vancouver after ten straight months in Calgary and found it death defying… then a few weeks ago I went to Quebec and now I just run in front of and around cars)… well, the place has a charm of its own.

    Even if it’s not quite Vancouver.

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