I had an awesome time at the Museum of Vancouver last night. The event wasn’t as busy as the first one – we blame the gorgeous Friday night – but it was fun and full of merriment. Shan, Miranda and I hung out at our table and crafted, sold Smuttons, and chatted with great people all night long, especially Kim who is our new favourite and we totally want to adopt her (seriously, I’m not only willing to share my initial with her; I don’t even care we share a NAME*). I feel bad for her poor husband, because every time they tried to leave something hilarious would happen and would lead to stories and uncontrollable laughing and education. I laughed until I cried more than once last night – neither Miranda nor I could remember the last time there was so much hysterical amusement in one evening.
Everything culminated at the end of the night, when Ed came to pick us up. He was cradling a carton of apple juice in his left arm, which was strange. “What’s up with the apple juice, yo?” He furrowed his brow, hesitated, then said haltingly “.. this was outside our door when I got home.” He handed me the juice box, and told me to look closely at it:
Someone left me personalized juice outside my condo door. I don’t know the person in the email address – I’VE BEEN FOUND.
I don’t know whether to laugh or be very, very scared. I’ll probably go with laugh – it’s not every day I get actual Stalker Juice – but it freaked Ed right out, which I am sorry I missed. I have a stalker! She brings me JUICE!
It is hilarious and a little bit frightening to be me!
13 thoughts on “stalker juice”
Man, none of my stalkers have EVER bought me juice.
Dear Stalkers: I can’t drink a hearty glass of “CATHERINE WHY MUST YOU DENY OUR PERFECT LOVE” written in blood on my bedroom wall. Seriously, get with the program!
The little “why am I doing this?” note adds just the right amount of awareness-of-the-creepy that it makes it not-creepy. Almost. But mostly hilarious =)
It was outside your condo door or outside the building? Kind of creepy in a flattering, fun sort of way. I am sorry I missed last night’s event it sounded like a really interesting evening.
Outside the condo door, which is why it scared Ed so much :)
I bet it means you’ve got a reader in your building…
Given that if you flip through your building’s buzz code directory I think your name shows up first or second with “69” next to it, you’re hardly keeping yourself on the down-low, are you?
That handwriting is definitely female, so I’m guessing what you’ve got is another straight chick who wants to do you. Tell the bitch to WAIT HER TURN.
How much cash does it take to get you to drink the stalker juice?
When you were buying that place it was really easy to find the MLS listing, photos, address, your realtor, etc.
But who’s doing any of that stuff anyways.
I wouldn’t be drinking that juice if I were you. Apples from strangers didn’t work well for Snow White; apple juice from strangers won’t work any better for you.
Know what I realized that night? It’s been like 15 years since I’ve had a friend named Kim. I find it surprisingly surreal and also I think I love you.
We must all play together again, and soon. I’ve already lost at least half the knowledge I learned from you.
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