There is NOTHING WORSE than spying on someone masturbating in the privacy of his own (filthy) home, only for him to a) not finish b) not do it right c) not be any good at it.
Last night we went to Yunn and Barry’s awesome Yaletown place to hang out and be disrespectful towards others. We all got very excited when we thought porn was being filmed in a penthouse suite across the street, but after several agonizing hours with no sweaty threeway action, we determined it was just a saucy photoshoot. We kept a watchful eye on all of Yaletown for most of the evening, until someone was finally seen doing something naughty – there was penile manipulation going on across the way! Sort of. For starters, it wasn’t very interesting – the guy seemed bored by his own hand. We took turns providing commentary on his activities until he gave up and left – without pants on – for over an hour. I was quite worried about him, and thought about sending out a search team but he finally he came back and tugged at his meat a few more times before giving up again. All in all, it was a sad attempt at masturbation – he wasn’t into it at ALL. We were far more excited than he was, and it was a depressing end to our night – we wanted fireworks! Happy endings! A crusty sock; a wadded up tissue! ANYTHING! Alas, it was not to be.
I am hoping my Sunday will have far more penis in it, but so far nothing is going my way. I think the bubble bash is a wash due to the rain, but I was waffling on my resolve anyway. Still, I have hopes that something entertaining – flesh-based or otherwise – will make itself known to me: a rainy Sunday is no reason for nothing!