When I woke up yesterday morning, I thought to myself “Self, your life is pretty awesome. You have a good job that whips you into a murderous froth only sometimes, someone to shower naked with, fun people for Good Times, and the sweetest scooter this side of Quadrophenia. But you know what – I bet, deep down, something is missing.” My inner dialogue was correct – something WAS missing. But what?
After some serious thinking, I determined that I wasn’t missing just one thing from my life – there were TWO wet gaping holes in my soul that needed to be filled; hard and fast.
What could be missing from my life, you wonder? I admit that, at first glance, I have everything I could possibly need: a home, food to eat, pills that keep me sane, a thousand things that go boop and beep – but .. well .. have you ever woken up in the morning and thought you might just waste away and DIE if you went one more day in this life without purple hair?
So, now I have purple hair.
I’m not exactly sure what level of decorum I expected from a colour called “Lusty Lavender”, but here we are. It’s Asian Purple, of course – obvious in bright light; slightly odd looking otherwise. My horrible roots and weird natural highlights did wonders with this dye – I was too chicken to use the bleach and just dyed my hair as is, and it came out super. I’m going to give it another coat tonight (I think I could be more purple), but I’m rather pleased with the outcome. My hair had been bothering me for weeks but I had no time to deal with my faded red and white roots. Last night I sucked it up and dove in, and now I am a grape. Hooray!
The other thing missing from my life: a talking anthropomorphic edamame bean that only speaks Japanese:
Sweet, satisfied bliss. I am content. And purple.
I would like a kitten, though.