petard wedgie

I’ve been hoisted with my own petard!

Today is the last day of NaBloPoMo, and with this post, I will have made 40 updates in November 2010. That’s more than one a day right through the entire month, so there will be no repeat of my humiliated e-failure from last year. I had even planned this update in advance, because I was NOT going to fuck up the count again and I wanted to go out with a bang.

Unfortunately, as I lay in bed last night thinking up the witty remarks to make on my topic of choice, I was struck with a sudden sense of deja vu: this seems really, really familiar. With a sense of dread, I went to my site and did a search for “virginity” – and sure enough, I blogged about this very topic in fucking APRIL.

Today is the 20th anniversary of the loss of my virginity, and I wanted to throw my hymen a little wake in remembrance of the sacrifice it made for the greater good. It would have been awesome: think streamers and confetti and tiny vaginal party hats; steamed clams and muscles to snack on. I might have invited a clown. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT.

But no. Way back in April, a good 7 months before the actual date of the anniversary, I was struck with hilarity (as usual, in my own head) and came up with the idea of releasing a 20th anniversary edition DVD of my virginity:

the hidden easter eggs are still particularly terrifying

That’s all fine and good I suppose, but here we are on the ACTUAL DATE of the anniversary, and I’ve got nothing. I am so grumpy at April Kimli for stealing thunder from myself. You suck in April, me.

So yeah, I win at NaBloPoMo ’10, but at what cost? AT WHAT COST??!

Serious pouting over here.


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