I need a do-over for my Wednesday morning, please. Every single thing I’ve touched today has gone wrong and I’m frankly afraid to use the internet in case it breaks down entirely. I’ve been awake for barely an hour, and so far:

  • I woke up over an hour late
  • I had to get re-dressed four times due to clothing in need of repair or sheer inappropriateness
  • The car had no gas in it
  • It took almost an hour to get to work because of broken-down buses
  • All three gas stations I passed on my way to work were packed
  • I had to do everything at the gas station twice because I kept fucking up (removing gas cap, inserting debit card, actual purchase)
  • I split the left zipper of my favourite black boots, which is a a $70 repair – I know this, because I broke the right zipper on my red pair last year. Now I have to decide if it’s worth fixing, or if I should just start the arduous process of finding another pair of Doc Martens I love as much as I love these (which I know have been discontinued; I looked for them last week)
  • It’s been three years since the initial dislocation of my right shoulder, and it just started being extremely unhappy. Every time I move my arm it feels as though my shoulder is going to pop out and that will a) hurt and b) suck
  • I am way too busy at work to be interesting
  • I have to pee

Regularly scheduled somewhat amusing content will hopefully return shortly, but right now I’m late for a meeting.

To evil!



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