calling all inventors

Women have had boobs for millions (or thousands, if you’re one of those) of years – can we REALLY do no better than hooks to keep these things closed? This is the future! To hell with jetpacks and flying cars; I want a bra that lifts, separates, and doesn’t get caught on doors or sweaters or the upholstery of the back seat of a 2010 Escalade. Don’t we, as women, deserve better? Don’t you, as boob-lovers, want to see spectacular cleavage at all times? There are few things more depressing than a ratty bra, and even fewer more infuriating than a good bra made useless because the hooks have been mangled beyond repair. It’s time to take a stand! It’s time we demand science to concentrate on our breasts instead of all that other stuff!

Scream if you’re with me! We must! We must! We must find a more reliable method of supporting our bust(s)!

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