crime’d

.. sorta.

The storage room our condo building was broken into on Sunday, and the would-be thieves snipped the lock holes off a series of lockers and started rummaging. They were looking for power tools and other small things that could easily be sold; things that most people wouldn’t keep in their homes but store in the basement where people rarely go. I don’t know how long they were down there, but they managed to do quite a bit of damage – rumour has it the floor was littered with castrated lock parts that had been tossed aside.

The bad men (likely Aquaman’s henchmen) amassed a small collection of valuable tools; enough that they couldn’t carry them all away easily. Solution: find a suitcase to put them in, then wheel off into the night. Our storage locker was ripe for picking, as there was a big suitcase front and center in the cage – so they snipped our lock hole and tried to get in.

Unfortunately for the henchmen, we had TWO locks on our cage – a combo lock on the bottom, and an intricately strung bicycle lock looped through the top of the unit. It was impossible to snip enough wires to get the second lock removed, so the sneaky sneakersons had to pry our locker door open just enough to get my suitcase out and also Ed’s impact wrench for good measure. They then filled the suitcase with all their ill-gotten goods, and .. well, the going theory is that they were disturbed mid-heist and had to abandon the crime scene with nothing to show for it. I know better, though:

no camera filter in the world can make this thing look attractive

The suitcase they stole out of our storage locker is mine, and it just happens to be a pink and purple train wreck of stripes and polka dots. There is no power in the universe that can make that suitcase inconspicuous (or not utterly fey), and that’s just how I like it. I don’t believe the thieves were interrupted in their stealing at all. I think they got as far as rummaging through everyone’s storage unit, collecting all the sellable pieces, loading up the suitcase .. and they just couldn’t do it. If you’re trying to get away nice and clean with a whole lot of loot, carrying said loot in the World’s Ugliest Suitcase is not the best way to go about it. Thieves, 0 – Kimli’s idea of hilarious, 1.

Thank you to everyone who left a comment here/on Twitter/on Facebook about my 10-year bloggiversary! You are all awesome, and your words made me smile all day (when I wasn’t foaming at the mouth over Sharepoint).

Are you an Instagram addict like I am? (if so, add me: kimli) My favourite photo gear shop, Photojojo, put together an awesome list of ways to use Instagram, including the genius Inkstagram – a site that allows you to view your feed, ‘like’ images, add comments, and more. I’ve been waiting for Instagram to add this functionality since day 1, but someone has beat them to it and did an awesome job. Check out the post on Photojojo for sure; I had no idea most of this was available (you can buy prints of your images! hell yes!) and only serves to make Instagram even better as a go-to tool for picture fun. Love it!

If I survive this Sharepoint rollout, I’m getting a tattoo to celebrate.

One thought on “crime’d

  1. They got as far as rummaging through everyone’s storage unit, collecting all the sell able pieces, and loading up and they just couldn’t do it,,,,

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