I am a simple creature; a creature of habit. When I find something I like – be it a colour or routine – I adopt it fully and make it mine. I rarely, if ever, variate from this path – why should I? I know what I like.
For instance, I like Diet Coke. I also like the fact that McDonald’s is running their annual summer drink promotion – all fountain drinks and iced coffees, any size, for only $1. I like that I live in a McDonald’s parking lot, because it means I can indulge my habit several times a day – which I DO. In fact, I go to “my” McDonald’s 5 or 6 times a week – not because I am trying to become the world’s fattiest Kimli, but because I really, really like $1 Diet Coke. I go there a lot, okay. I know all the drive through employees by sight, if not by name – and they know me too, because I guarantee I am the only funny-looking Asian on a black scooter dressed all in red who comes through every damn morning just for a large Diet Coke and nothing else. I am the Diet Coke girl. It’s what I do. I KNOW you know me; you chastise me when I don’t come around for a few days and ask where I’ve been.
So WHY would you think that I wanted a large COKE this morning? I have never, ever, EVER ordered Coke. Like polka-dotted clockwork, I am there every morning at 8:45am to get my large Diet Coke for $1.12. I have never deviated from this routine, and I never will. I need you to figure this out – see the pattern; grasp the modus operandi – and realize that I am there for Diet Coke, NEVER regular Coke. I need you to step it up. I need you to realize what I am there for, and give me the correct thing. PLEASE. I BEG you.
Get with it, McDonald’s Monica who works weekday morning shifts in drive thru. You make me shake my head in sadness and disbelief.