Ever since the dawn of Esther, I’ve hidden her disguise in plain sight – taped to the side of my desk. No one can predict emergencies, and I like to be prepared for anything. My coworkers find this absolutely hilarious – what do you mean, you have an emergency mustache? What situation could possibly arise that you would need such a thing? Kimli is so weird! and so on and so forth, with ODB (my old boss) taking particular delight in the hilarity of it all.

This has been going on for months – just shy of a year, actually.

And then today, this happened:

ODB: Do we have any coloured paper?

Me: I think we have some bright orange around here somewhere; leftover from the donut project.

ODB: No, I need some black paper. Any ideas?

Me: Nope, we have none .. what do you need black paper for, anyway?

ODB: For the Mexican Kaboozle* this afternoon! I think we should all MYOM – Make Your Own Mustache! We need black paper for mustaches!

Me: … mustaches, like THIS? *pulls out Esther’s mustache from the side of my desk* I KNEW having an Emergency Mustache would come in handy! You laughed at me, remember? But I am prepared – I already HAVE a mustache here, JUST IN CASE!

ODB: ………..……………………….

YEAH. SUCK IT. I WIN. EVERY WEIRD THING I DO AT THE OFFICE IS NOW JUSTIFIED FOREVER.

i am the one who is laughing now

I am so deliciously smug!

*: We have parties on the last Friday of every month – this month’s theme is Cinco de Mayo, hosted by one of the Ops teams. Last month was my team’s party, and we did the Office Space one. My work is awesome.