Ed has a cold, and I either have it – am getting it – or am mutating it into an all-new disease that will spread like wildfire and doom 99.4% of humanity, and no amount of movies starring Dustin Hoffman can stop it. While Ed is full of mucous and grossness, I am beyond tired, beyond listless, beyond Thunder Dome. I’ve been getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night and sleeping straight through except for when glass shatters in my bathroom at 3am, but I am so achy and out of it that I must be germ-laden and about to be declared Patient Zero for something horrible. Maybe they’ll name it after me. I’m not satisfied with my 15 minutes of fame coming in 10-second chunks; I want my name to be synonymous with something. Sure, I’d prefer that “the Kimli” mean something great rather than a disease that kills you all, but I’ll take what I can get. I want a Wikipedia entry.
Wait, what was I talking about?
I’m so tired.