So, the world is going to end on Friday. I’m not quite ready for that yet – there’s a big list of things I’d like to do before my time is up; things I haven’t yet done with my life. I figure if I go non-stop between now and the (other) big bang, I just might be able to get all done. I mean, technically I don’t really believe the world is going to end – the entire idea hinges on the Mayan calendar guy getting bored and refusing to calculate dates 5000+ years into the future especially when he wasn’t getting paid overtime – but, you know, just in case. I like to cover all my bases.

So, without further ado, I present to you the List of Things I’d Like to Do Before I Transform and Roll Out My Domain Expires the Viagra Wears Off the End of the World:

• DONGS. It’s happening with or without you, Ed.
• Drink a whole beer (also, find a beer I can drink without making Beer Face)
• Be in charge of things officially, instead of just taking over for my own sanity
• Publish something
• Do an actual Walk of Shame
• Spend more time in Europe
• Visit Japan
• Do something that will warrant a Wikipedia entry about me
• Get my iMac back from the Apple Store in Metrotown
• Solve the mystery of my father’s death
• Change someone’s life for the better
• Convince Ed to install Heather’s ceiling fan
• Get over my assorted self-image issues
• Live a life that makes people say “Damn, Kimli was an awesome person and I am glad I knew her”
• Seriously, dongs.

I’ve got five days. LET’S DO THIS!

Also, if all this planning is for naught and the world doesn’t end on Friday, this list shall automatically revert to whatever better term there may be for “Bucket List”, as I don’t like that name one bit.