Many people are talking about #twittersilence; one woman’s idea to prove a point and get her way by doing nothing at all. I personally think the idea is ludicrous – when in history has the silent treatment ever overcome anything – but contrary to what some people are saying, there ARE a few times when it is wholly appropriate to be silent/stay off Twitter. Here is a handy list for you to refer to at any time, or feel free to reach out to me at @kimli for some help:

Appropriate Times for Twitter Silence

• During sex (apparently it’s rude to tweet during intercourse)
• When you’re on the West Coast and you won’t see <hot TV show> for three hours and want to avoid spoilers
• When you’re on the East Coast and have seen <hot TV show> before the rest of the country and can’t believe they did <plot twist>
• While asleep (scheduled tweets are the first step in the terrible Rise of the Machines)
• After you’ve died (Roger Ebert was brilliant and I loved his Twitter feed, but it is simultaneously startling and sad to see “him” continue to tweet after death)
• During any sort of performance or viewing, be it a movie, the opera, a funeral, or a concert: believe me, the world can wait until the show is over before we see that duck-faced selfie

In all seriousness, being quiet about injustice is the worst possible way to deal with it, and exactly what “they” want. When you don’t call attention to awful behaviour, they win. Stand up. Speak out. You have a voice for a reason – never, ever simply sit back and take it.

And don’t fucking tweet during a movie, you jackass.