when she was good

I am trying REALLY HARD to be good. Seriously! I wear my stupid boot (which is a whole universe better than the stupid cast) all the time, except when I’m sleeping. The doctor* said “stay off your foot”, so I am – using my stupid crutches as much as possible, beseeching Ed to fetch me things, and just generally being prone and pathetic at all times. It is tiring.

Unfortunately, Ed’s out of town for the next few days, so I’m on my own. While I’m still wearing my stupid boot, I’ve set the crutches aside because I can’t carry things while using them, and I need my hands to feed the cats and myself and get Diet Coke and ice cubes. I’ve been carefully stumping about the house, trying very hard not to break myself any further for ulterior reasons.

Did I ever tell you about the last time I had to wear an aircast? I probably did, because I tell the internet everything – but to make a long story short, I gave myself a stress fracture in Dallas and had to wear an aircast to heal it up, which then caused a stress fracture in my other foot so I had to switch the boot for a while which re-fucked my other foot and so on. It was a fun time for all, what with my being constantly broken. Had we stayed in Alberta, I would have eventually had surgery to replace my broken bones with steel rods of foot justice, but we moved to BC and the new foot doctor fucked me up in a hundred shiny new ways instead.

The tiny bit of walking around yesterday with the aircast on my left foot made my right foot hurt in a horribly familiar way.

I have a bad feeling about this.

I’m still going to wear my boot, but I have to remember to wear a shoe on my right foot to balance me out a little. Hopefully, if I can keep this unsanitary game (the carpets hate me which is fine because I hate them) up for a while longer, my bones will be okay enough to handle New York in eight days. I’m arranging for the majority of our time there to be spent on tour buses, will wear my boot and rest when I need to, and when I get home I will sit in one spot and not move until September.

Yes I’m justifying this all in my head and I know it’s dumb, but I’ve got an Adventure planned and no mere broken bone will keep me from Adventure. I’ll just have to be careful, and dial it back a little – maybe skip the midnight run through Central Park. Maybe.

Tomorrow I am going to Leave the House. I’ve been cooped up in here for what feels like months, so I am going to shower and put on clothes and go to the office like a normal person and it’s going to be weird and exhausting but I’m starting to go all Gollum here, so it’s time.

Plus, there may or may not be three whole mails waiting for me.

*Every doctor I’ve seen at the Lions Gate Hospital has been this swarthy dreamboat soap opera person – what’s up with that. It’s weird. Stop being so handsome.

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