hoarder of obsolete tech

For marital reasons*, Ed has moved into the spare bedroom downstairs (so uh Steph and Alistair that honeymoon might have to wait a bit). We never got around to setting up any of the electronics down there (we’ve only been moved in for 29 months, give us some time), but now that the room is seeing regular action, we thought it might be a good time to outfit the room in the best technology 5 years ago had to offer.

Unfortunately, we were unable to locate the only truly essential power cord: the one needed for the TV. I checked the four separate dedicated mystery cable boxes and found everything needed for the Xbox 360, the Xbox 180, the Wii, the old broken PS2, the functional PS2, not one but two PS3s (?? where did the second one come from), and a half dozen different cheap Chinese security cameras from when we were concerned enough about safety to outfit our house in surveillance but not yet wise enough to maybe avoid the third-party bad-English no-name equipment with full access to our home network, but nothing for the TV itself. I have adapters in every imaginable format, USB extension cables so thick they could be used on the ocean floor, dongles upon dongles, a complete Pipo X9 I had forgotten about, and fourteen or so Nintendo DS systems, but no TV power cord.

As usual, as soon as something shiny caught my eye I forgot what I was doing and started doing something else. I dug out a cable for the DSi and plugged it in, happy to see that it immediately started charging. It’s tiny and so old that I can’t connect it to the internet (which, to be fair, was a problem when this thing was brand new – Nintendo didn’t immediately embrace wireless internet with open arms, and actually sold a specialty device that you needed to get online if you had any kind of internet security set up whatsoever), but it still works and will very likely play the many, many DS games sitting in Ed’s new room. I’m pretty excited about the find, and now I want to dig out my other DS systems and set them up to race. I really loved the format of the DS, and while the Switch is much more powerful, it doesn’t have that same “toss into bag and go” feel that the DS/DS Lite/DSi/DSi XL/3DS/3DS XL/New 3DS had. I would happily buy my 21st DS system if Nintendo released a new, updated version that had like .. horns, or a special smell. I’m not picky. I love buying the same device multiple times, because it’s the same as the old version but with NEW THINGS and that is very exciting.

Where was I? Oh right, cables or some shit. Anyway, I found the missing cables needed, along with the old Apple TV and a pile of remote controls. We should be able to get things set up downstairs, at which point I will kick Ed out of the room and entertain myself with old PS2 games until the world stops ending. When I’m done with those, I have my DS games to fall back on, and then some original Xbox titles. Who needs the outside world? Not me, I have old consoles with power cables. Life is great!

*: “marital reasons” = keeping a 24/7 eye on Hobbz so I don’t murder the entire household the next time I step into an ice cold puddle of cat pee with both bare feet

Between my collection of outdated MP3 players and handheld consoles, I’m going to be a fucking kingpin when the apocalypse gets to the Max Mad stage.

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