I finally made it to Northern Voice ’09 just before noon. I slept in a little, then scooted to UBC. It’s gorgeous outside, but damn cold – I foolishly thought perhaps I could get away with no gloves or scarf, but I got as far as Park Royal before I had to rethink that idea.

Also, there were video games.

Speaking of priorities, as soon as I got here I did the following:

• registered
• got diet coke
• took a pocketful of buttons for my candy jar
• grabbed a fistful of meat
• sat on the floor

.. just a typical Friday ’round these parts.

It’s lunch time, but I’ll be live blogging the afternoon sessions including Miranda and Reilly’s talk on photography. I missed it last year, but I’m glad I got here in time germs or no germs.

Security is trying to shoo us off the floor, but I don’t play by their rules. Ask anyone – I love sitting on the floor. I do it at meetings at work. I wonder if that’s why I haven’t gotten a raise yet.

Also, a man in blue is walking around plaintively waving a magazine in people’s faces. I am not sure what is up with that – too busy stuffing my face with tomatoes – but it is kind of funny. Then again, I’m a little disorganized and out of it right now so EVERYTHING is funny.

EX HUNTING! Twitter told me my ex-boyfriend is here, so we (Miranda, Tracey and I) went ex-hunting. It didn’t take very long – we found him and now we are taking pictures for the Photo Camp. Hee! I like hunting.

1300: I’m at my first session of the day – The Evolution of Storytelling with James Chutter . It’s a pretty popular session; we had to pull up a carpet to find a seat. Works for me what with my affection for down and all, but we were able to steal Miranda a chair because she is special (and also broken).

I basically chose this topic at random, but since I am definitely all about the storytelling I think this is a good session for me to sit in. Stories are awesome, and I hope I occasionally do the genre justice.

James is a graduate of NYU and likes to say “holy shit!” a lot. It’s extremely endearing (because I enjoy swearing), and his presentation is pretty cool – wondering what it would be like to be right there when radio was invented, or motion pictures – the things that took “generic” story telling to the next level by introducing images or sound or something with more depth than a script read from a sheet of paper.

That’s where we are now with all the technology coming at us like flying hams – things are changing so fast that sometimes we forget to take a step back and marvel at just what we’re capable of doing these days with the tools that are commonplace now. All hilarious cliches aside, it really is a pretty amazing time to be alive. I love that I’m able to do the things I do and reach an audience, however smal it might be – and to know that if I wanted to put the time and effort into it, I’d be able to use a vast array of other tools to widen my reach is cool.

I ask this every year, but I wonder if I’ll ever get to the point where I choose to do video blogs instead of written. I highly doubt it, given my aversion to being on camera, my loathing for all things YouTube, and my sheer love of words. Still, it’s a distinct possibility however distasteful it may seem to me at the moment.

1337: Our afternoon session game plan seems to be the same as last year – pick a room and attend whatever session happens to be in it. It’s a good way to do things, since every presentation is interesting and this way we don’t have to lug all our crap from room to room just to set up and tear down all over again. I have no idea what this session is – the schedule (the accuracy of which has been questioned) says “EduBlogger Hootenanny”. While I’m not so much about the educational blogging (although I do try – did you know that the average ejaculate contains 9ccs of liquid?), I am always down for a hootenanny.

Miranda took a fantastically bad photo of me, but since that is what she is going for I suppose I have to give her props :(

Where is Josh when you need him? He usually has a pocket full of drugs at all times, and right now I could definitely use some sort of anti-cold medication.

1403: I don’t quite know what this session is about – it started around me; I haven’t moved – but the lady speaking is wearing head to toe PURPLE. It is awesome and I am so very jealous of her purple cowboy boots. WANT!

She seems to be trying to convince us to buy a Mac Mini. I could totally get behind this – I like gadgets, even if she’s suggesting that you buy one because you have kids (???).

Heh heh “grown up DVD”. PORN!

I can’t quite tell if this session is pro-child or pro-YouTube. How odd.

There are a lot of different tools out there that allows you to download or stream TV shows online. She’s telling us about ways to bypass the tools in place that don’t allow access in countries that aren’t the US – Hulu, I’m looking at you – but unfortunately, none of this really applies to me because I don’t watch TV (and if I needed anything, I have ways of finding it). Sometimes I wish I was more into the whole “passive watching” thing – if only to use some of these cool toys – but at the same time, I really don’t. I like reading and video games and bathing. Especially video games.

1456: “The Ethics of Shooting People” – *awesome*.

I’m in Photo Camp Camp now, and we’re picking topics. Miranda is up first – woop! She’s talking the Dos and Don’ts of Candid Photos. I’m very excited about this, since I missed her session last year.

Oh good, Miranda’s HORRIBLE HORRIBLE picture of me is on the screen for the whole room to see. “This is Kimli of Delicious Juice, you can see her awesome cleavage which is one of her features” .. DUDE! Hah. It’s kind of true, unfortunately. I DO have other qualities – somewhere – but you have to give props for the honesty.

For a presentation Miranda threw together this morning, this is pretty cool – I really need to start paying attention to the composition of my photos, because for every passable picture I take there are 10000 shots you DIDN’T see that are just awful and I know that if I actually tried, I could probably take better pictures.

Black & white vs colour: if your picture is slightly blurry or not quite perfect, try looking at it in B&W – go for artsy vs perfection.

1539: Reilly is talking about fun stuff you can do with film, including taking the roll out (in the dark of course) and unwinding it, then rolling it back up backwards and upside down. It’ll give you an awesome creepy red tint to your film pics. Check out Reilly’s examples on his Flickr!

1555: Talking the ethics of shooting strangers – can you take pictures of random people on the street and post them online? Legally yes (with some limits), but ethically – should you? A seriously gray area, especially when children are involved. I’ve taken photos of pictures of kids and posted them online, and have been horrified at the amount of attention the pictures get from people I don’t know.

Personally, I am really bothered by people who take pictures of friends or coworkers and go ahead and post them to Facebook without asking permission. I’ve touched on this before – in fact, almost destroyed the family because of it – but I also am really incensed when I take pictures at events (for example) and share them with the people IN the photos, only for them to take all my work and post them online with no credit to me. It’s a small issue because I’m just a private (well, sort of) citizen who doesn’t actually make money at any of this, but if this were my business? I’d have to get really angry, really quickly.

1626: Son of a bitch – Josh just Comic Sans’d me! It’s the end of Day One here at Northern Voice, and people are getting restless. Josh is molesting my camera, and Reilly is attempting to insert a roll of film into Miranda’s mouth. You’d think that, given the speech on Film Photography that Reilly just gave, he would know that film doesn’t GO there.

We’re wrapping up now and will move the party off campus to an as of yet undetermined location, then do it all over again tomorrow. Can’t wait! Day One has been great!

1820: I wish I could say that this is the first fancy event I’ve been to in which my first order of business was to find a power outlet, but I’d be lying through my charmingly crooked teeth. I don’t know a single person here – not that I’ve really looked; I made a beeline for the corner as soon as I got here – but I’ve made good on my claim of sitting in the corner. I’ve found an excellent corner, claims have been staked, and now I’m waiting for my more outgoing halves to find me.

I still haven’t found a power outlet. This could be a problem later.

1830: Okay, I see 3 faces I recognize. Now we’re getting social! Also props to Boris for the crazy anime hair – it’s making me all swoony, but that could also be the NyQuil.

1848: My name tag refuses to stay put. Does anyone have a stapler?

Miranda and Reilly have arrived, with Tanya in tow. I also found Chris and Monica, so I am surrounded by people far more social than I am – I hope I’m not coming across as rude, but I really don’t feel so hot. If I stay in the corner and look like I’m concentrating, please know that I am concentrating on not passing out as opposed to ignoring the festivities around me. I wish I was feeling better – and that it didn’t hurt so much to talk – but maybe this is a good time to practice communication by flash card.

Speaking of flash, I have the “smile AFTER the flash goes off” thing down solid. I’m going to ruin a lot of photos tonight with the whole “deer in headlights” thing I have going on.

Prepared Nerd to the rescue! Reilly is without SD cards, so I offered up one of my own. I’m packing a great deal of heat tonight it would seem; I have 46GB spread across 5 cards plus another 18GB in jump drives in my pocket. I should probably be less proud of that than I am, but damnit – you just never know when you’re going to need to hack into a mainframe and download a top secret government database to prove your innocence of the murder you were framed for.

1906: I just got accused of being anti-social :( I’m having a hard time hearing though, and talking is a royal pain in the throat. Besides, I’m live blogging a social media event – what’s more social media than sharing my thoughts with the internet at large instead of talking to people around me?

1913: Everyone is very fancy this evening. I’ve seen at least one feather boa, some sort of fur (hopefully fake) stole, and many a sequin or shiny things. It looks like some announcements will be happening soon, so sit tight for additional updates.

Monica just went all school teacher on some people who are still talking – she’s cute but scary!

Ooh, apparently there is discounted wine tonight. There are going to be some liquoured nerds up in here very quickly – I fear for people wearing white for some reason.

It looks like dinner is moments away from being served, which is awesome – I am hungry. I forget what I ordered, so it will be a surprise.

There are an awful lot of cute boys here. I definitely need to get out more.

1936: I am beyond glad that in MY world, it will never ever be inappropriate to giggle at being asked “And what is your choice of meat this evening?”

Snerk. Meat! Like a PENIS! It’s funny because I’m 12.

Social Media In My Pants: “Who’s that guy sitting over there? He’s cute!” “I twittered the guy next to him to ask, but I don’t think either of them are online right now” “pfft. He just went from an 8 to a TWO.”

1944: And now for a different flavour of nerd: the bread looks like Slime! :D

2020: Well fuck – I posted all about boobies, and Reilly’s Macbook ate the update. My own battery is all but dead, and unless I find an outlet I’m going to have to go silent for the rest of the evening. It sort of fits the whole theme of “no talking” I have going on – my voice is completely shot so I’m resorting to gesturing madly and texting people to get their attention. It sucks, because I don’t text nearly as fast as I can talk when I’m in the zone – I’m feeling very slow right now, in more ways than one.

About the boobs: there’s a lot of boob-grabbing going on at this table. People are grabbing their own boobs, and Reilly grabbed Miranda’s (supposedly to look for her cell phone, but we all know better). No one is grabbing at me, but I’m just sitting here being all cleavagey. At some point I AM going to have to cover up and deliver some content, but in the meantime .. well, fancy times is boobie times.

2045: I’m starting to get a little fixated on the lack of power outlets. What kind of fancy supper club doesn’t have power outlets?! Reilly has kindly lent me his Mac and he was smart enough to bring an extra battery with him, but my own laptop is dead and that makes me sad. I find myself wandering around the venue – which is awesome, for those of you not here – gazing at the floor not in my usual “oh god I’m afraid of people must not make eye contact” dance but rather keeping an eye out for the telltale sign of POWER. Need power. Going slightly stir crazy without it. Everyone else is having an excellent time though, which is good – even though the  invite SAID to bring laptops, it looks like Reilly and I were the only ones who didn’t catch the whole “we were kidding” vibe.

I can’t talk above a whisper. Tomorrow I am planning on bringing a white board and markers so I can communicate beyond nodding my head and tilting questioningly.

2121: Dinner was delicious – I had the Arctic Char which came with shrimp and some sort of sauce. There’s a lively debate about dessert going on, but no one is quite sure what the plan is. We’re all being given new forks as I type, so I assume some sort of fork-worthy item is yet to come. In fact, I see men with plates. Miranda is counting on Tiramisu – as for me, I think it’s cream puffs. There is nothing that leads me to think it might be cream puffs, but I’m just .. feeling the puffs.

Reilly had the lamb, which came on a giant bone.

I think I may have to bail before the dancing starts. I had planned to leave after dinner, but then they gave me another fork and it would be frankly rude not to use it. I wish I could stay to watch people dance, but I’m feeling pretty wretched. If I want to be alive for tomorrow’s conference, it would be in my best interest to get home soon – as it is, I’m thinking about getting as much rest as I can tonight and heading to UBC whenever I wake up (as opposed to being on campus at 8:30am). I know I’ll miss out on some of the early sessions, but I can’t risk getting any sicker than I already am.

Did I mention Reilly’s giant bone? I did? Good.

2138: I was right! I have no idea what the dessert was (other than tasty), but there was some definite puffery going on! I sort of win at Guess the Dessert! Go Team Kimli!

The mysterious curtain around the stage has been drawn, and there’s a live band setting up. I am super bummed that I’m going to miss this! Damn you, ebola! I hope a lot of pictures are taken so I can live vicariously through the internet (like usual).

I know some people opted to skip the dinner party this year because it was sponsored in part by the BC Liberal Party, but those that chose to boycott tonight’s fun really missed out. I don’t believe the sponsor has been mentioned once (although I wasn’t really paying attention to the announcement; at any rate we certainly weren’t subjected to an hour-long speech about politics), and it’s just a great big fun time. I honestly don’t care one way or another who sponsored the event – it all boils down to my getting an excellent dinner in a fancy venue for cheap, and I can live with that. Not everything has to be a fight – sometimes a party is just a party.

There’s singing! Someone is singing! How awesome! Viva Las Vegas indeed – he’s getting the crowd involved. I am very glad I’m sitting in a dark corner, but this is pretty great.