never wear yellow in brighton

Posted in everyday kimli by

Our trip to London and surrounding areas wasn’t just for fun – along the way, we learned some Life Lessons I will now share with you bit by bit.

The first lesson: Never wear yellow in Brighton. We woke up ridiculously early on the morning of my birthday, and made our way to the train station to spend the day in Brighton. Things were going well – we wandered the town, found an amazing market lined with quirky shops, saw some incredible graffiti, and had lunch at Bill’s. We were full and happy and making our way towards the pier when we stumbled upon the Royal Pavilion Gardens, complete with gorgeous wildflowers, a huge castle-thing, and lush inviting grass just begging for bare feets. The sun had finally come out, and we strolled through the gardens basking in the sheer delight of being in Brighton. It was good.

Then the bugs happened.

See, one of the things I love about the UK is the many, many flower gardens all over the landscape. These aren’t groomed gardens meant for looking at and/or smelling, but rather specific pockets of pollenating plants and flowers set up to entice insects to do their thang. They’re gorgeous, and the fact they almost killed me aside, are awesome.

My birthday started out a little cloudy, so I wore my favourite dress and a bright yellow sweater to make some artificial sunshine. As we were walking through the garden, I noticed a tiny beetle trying to pollenate my sweater. I gently brushed him off, then another, then another, then another, then .. shit. I was *covered* in tiny beetles trying to have sex with me. Ed and Heather helped me brush all the bugs off while Renee laughed at me, and we continued our walk. I looked down while pausing to fountain, and .. more bugs. More manhandling of myself to get them all off. We eventually reached the waterfront, and I figured I was in the clear: no more gardens means no more bugs, right? Time to do birthday pier things! Except .. no, I was still covered in bugs – more than ever. Ed counted as he flicked them off me, stopping when he got to 30 or so. The bugs LOVED my yellow sweater, and were crawling all over me in an attempt to feed off my delicious juice. I gave up at this point – it was warm outside anyway, so I took off my sweater and shoved it in my bag (after shaking it out for a solid 60 seconds). Wearing yellow in Brighton was evidently a huge mistake, one I won’t be repeating anytime soon (not because I know better, but because I am too far away). Also, bugs love me. I am delicious.

Next Life Lesson: that time the UK almost killed me!

i love graffiti.
random castle-thing
terror fabulous
here there be so many bugs
happy couple
brighton shore
bill’s!
brighton pier

utter failure

Posted in adventure, angst, international kimli by

Guys, this didn’t work.

This trip to London was supposed to get it all out of my system. I’ve spent a total of six weeks in the city – each trip a week longer than the last – but I’m not done. I know my love of this city is a little irrational, but have you met me? There’s something here that wants me to stay. I can feel it. No vacation, regardless of length, will ever be enough here .. I need to live in London. I know this as well as I know anything.

This isn’t just the idle rumblings of someone who isn’t quite ready to return to reality, either. I’ve only felt like this one other time in my life: when I was wholly convinced I would shrivel up and die if I didn’t live in Vancouver. I was supposed to be in BC, and every passing month I spent languishing in Calgary was killing me with angst. I needed to be on the coast, so I worked my ass off (and did so much fast talking it became a habit) to make that happen.

I still love Vancouver, but I love it like I love Fresca Victoria – many fond memories, and a permanent place in my heart. It doesn’t really feel like home anymore though – there are so many things I’ve been done with for ages now – and the urgency I felt years ago has been long sated. I feel it here, though. I’m supposed to be a Londoner. So how do I make that happen?

Complications. So many of them, least of which is qualifying for that Visa. I don’t know if anyone truly knows how hard it was to convince Ed that Vancouver wouldn’t kill him, but that would be like asking Ed if he’d like a blow job in comparison. The house. The cats. The sheer amount of money it would take to make it happen. So many obstacles .. but they’re the same obstacles I’ve faced, and conquered, before.

I can do this. I have to, because a force stronger than my ridiculousness is driving me to.

20140701-113036-41436050.jpg

i’m gonna live here one day

drawing to a close

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The first truly bad weather we’ve experienced this entire trip has given us an excellent excuse to do absolutely nothing today. I feel a little guilty, given that we only have two full days of London left before we leave for home on Tuesday, but we’re kind of exhausted and desperately needed the rest. Tomorrow we’ll be back to our usual routine of DO ALL THE THINGS, but today .. well, couch. And bed, and football, and pizza.

I love London and everything about it, but I really miss my cats. We’re both looking forward to going home – this is the longest we’ve ever been away, and I think I drastically underestimated just how long 22 days really is. That being said, we’ve had an amazing time. We’ve done almost everything on the London List, and will likely bang out all but two (a cemetery, and Camden Town – I’m just too tired and broke) in the next couple days. We come home on Canada Day, which is fitting. I will miss London – I’ve been trying very hard not to look at these last few days as “the last time I’ll lounge at the V&A, the last time I’ll be able to find a Pret 15 feet in any direction, the last time I can reach out and touch the Tower Bridge and lick Big Ben (even if they’d really rather I didn’t)”, etc. It’s still a goal of mine to live in London someday, and since I didn’t crumple into dust on my birthday, it could happen.

But first – Paris! We had three days to explore the city, and that’s just what we did. It was Ed’s first time there, with my being a seasoned Paris vet with almost 9 full hours under my belt. We did traditional tourist things, because of the aforementioned first time – the Eiffel Tower (which almost killed Ed because heatstroke), the Louvre (which almost killed everyone in our vicinity because crowd rage), the Notre Dame, and a day of random wandering during which we accidentally found the Persian sex district. We made great use of the bus tour tickets I bought, and braved the Metro multiple times to get around. It was a busy trip within a trip, but we made the most of our time there. It’s interesting, though – even with more time to soak in all (well, more) of what Paris has to offer, I find that my initial thoughts on the city still hold true: Paris is just not for me. I’m super glad I got to experience it not once but twice, and with Ed this time (who, ironically, feels exactly the same way about the city as I do), but to me, it’s no London. Which I love. Have I mentioned that?

I’ve been taking pictures the whole time we’ve been here (except for today, because I haven’t gone outside), but I don’t know where to put them. I didn’t renew my Pro Flickr account, and I don’t know where kids these days are putting their photos .. any ideas?

So, more coming later. Right now there is pizza to eat, and Canada to cheer on in the World Cup. GO SPORTS!

paris opéra

paris opéra

some sorta big tower dealie

some sorta big tower dealie

london built in brick, paris built in stone

london built in brick, paris built in stone

the angel of selfies

the angel of selfies

penis.

penis.

hello from paris

Posted in everyday kimli by

I fully intended on writing every day (or at least every other day) while on vacation, but then I kept having fun and was exhausted all the time and Heather and Renee were here and it was my birthday and .. well, I forgot. And was too tired. And now Ed and I are in Paris with spotty internet, so don’t hold your breath.

I do promise many pictures and stories soon, along with the dreaded cop-out “my vacation in numbers” post .. but that’ll have to wait: I am going to sleep and tomorrow I will explore Paris for more than the 8 hours H, R, and I had in 2011.

To make up for my absences, here are some things that are hilarious because I am 9 years old at heart:

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london: new vancouver

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We’re staying in an area of London that is both new-ish, and new to us. It’s a little further from Central London than our previous visits, and it feels very much like home. Seriously, tell me if this doesn’t look like False Creek and BC Place:

all aboard the mount pleasant gondola

Most of the buildings in the area are new, and built of concrete and glass. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but .. it feels like home. Specifically, Vancouver home. When I visit London, I want it to feel like UK-home: history and wainscotting and ridiculously ornate buildings fit for nobility but are actually a corner grocer and torture chambers and and and. The last place we stayed was right next to the University of London, with all the accompanying Britishness you might expect – but the flat was tiny and uncomfortable for the two of us, and wouldn’t work for the four of us this time around. I did a ton of research before selecting where we are now, but didn’t really look into how London the area felt. It’s not a big deal – as Ed says, we traded charm for comfort – but something feels off about the area, and I think that’s what it is.

But! It’s where we sleep and store our underwear, so it’s all good. We’ve settled in, and have worn ourselves out running all over town exploring new things and revisiting old favourites. Our adventures on Tuesday took us to Canary Wharf for SIM Cards and an accidental high end car show: we made our way through Maseratis and Bentleys and Land Rovers on our unintentional romp through London’s financial district, and once we were fully equipped with internet, I took Ed to Buckingham Palace because it is shiny. We wandered through various Parks, stopping to rest our feet and people watch. Everyone was very fancy – Tuesday was Prince Phillip’s birthday, and some sort of party was happening at the Palace. Hundreds of people were queued up to get in, and everyone was dressed to at least the 8s – top hats and tails on the men, and the FANCIEST HATS on the ladies. St. James’s Park has a huge collection of interesting birds, and I spent a long time looking at baby ducks and geese and swans and this fat squirrel:

it’s hobbes, in squirrel form

We spent some time laying on the grass, then made our way back to home base for sleepings.

On Wednesday, we decided to hop the gondola to London Bridge and walk for a million miles (or 17000 FitBit steps) – all along the South Bank, over multiple bridges, and past my new favourite places in London:

adorable shops in gabriel’s wharf

more 'ffiti

south bank skate park

south bank skate park

more ‘ffiti

The Skate Park was *covered* in graffiti, and was wonderful – I could have spent hours in there (but didn’t, because I killed my camera battery). More South Bank will happen later, as I think it’s my happy place .. so much to do and see and walk and also this old thing:

big ben at seven bong

big ben at seven bong

We wore ourselves the fuck out yesterday, so today was much less exciting: a trip to the mall (because it has the closest M&S that isn’t fucking invisible). We stocked up on groceries and desserts, and are simply resting up because the fun is about to begin: Heather and Renee will be here tomorrow, and then we’re off to Portobello Market and Brighton and Oxford and the V&A and castles and haunted pubs and bus tours and eeeeee!

My feet are gonna hurt so much.

and and and

london: getting here

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Logistically, the flight was amazing. I never thought I’d be one of those people who opt to pay a little more for a decent flight (and I mean little – it worked out that the best possible times for our flights were also the cheapest), but after experiencing Discount London Airlines two years ago, I’ve gladly jumped at the chance to fork over more cash in exchange for budget luxury. We’ve flown to London twice now via Virgin Atlantic, and both times it was great with this trip in particular being extra great:

  • The flight was far from sold out, meaning we were able to snag an empty row of three seats of Ed to crash out on (take THAT, guy who tried to reserve an entire row for himself via throwing his iPad onto the seat only to have the sky waitress instead give the row to the 8.75 month pregnant lady two rows ahead of me)
  • USB PORTS IN THE SEAT BACK my phone was never less than 80% charged all flight and it was heavenly
  • Wifi was available, but for £14.99 ($28CDN) the Instagram pictures of my dinner could wait until we were on the ground
  • Speaking of dinner, it was quite good and served as soon as we were in the air, so no weird smells were being carted down the aisle while we were trying to get some sleep
  • Free entertainment on demand – tons of movies and TV shows, and a small selection of video games that were all free to view/play
  • Alcohol for some reason! Ed opted to try self-medicating with cognac and wine with dinner, and it was both complimentary AND complementary
  • Tons of leg room! Even with our extra bucks we still flew super cheapo economy style, but there was ample amounts of leg room for me to flail around in
  • No babies! While we were checking in, a family with three screaming children were in line next to us and brought on all the trepidation – boy was I relieved when I snuck a look at their boarding passes and realized they were flying to Germany
  • Free socks! You get a little care package on Virgin flights that contain a sleep mask, earplugs, a toothbrush and tiny toothpaste, a pen, and socks. These were very helpful, because I actually lost my socks on the flight (don’t ask) so I was able to put on fresh socks for the rest of the journey

There was very little turbulence on the flight, and we landed in London at 2:45pm local time. We were so early that we had to take the scenic route in:

curvy thames goodness
the rolling fields of england!
thanks for flyover of where we’re staying!
my bridge is down there

Unfortunately, even with all the extra space on our flight, I couldn’t sleep at all. I had just enough room to myself to be awkward – I couldn’t lay down without contorting my legs Cirque-style, and I flopped about restlessly when sitting upright. I was too hot, then too cold, and my underwear was giving me an atomic wedgie. Even after I threw decency and caution to the wind and allowed my nethers to be exposed to anyone who dared peer at them in the darkness, I couldn’t catch any sleep .. so by the time we landed, I was a loopy mess. Luckily, I had some backwards foresight* into the situation, and had opted to go Balls Out Fancy by booking a car service to deliver us unto our AirBnB, so after a brief waiting period (before which we figuratively waltzed through Customs and our bags were coming ’round the bend when we pulled up to the carousel) we were in a car to take us to where a bed was waiting.

.. eventually. See, this was my first time actually driving across London and not just for a short cab ride – we literally went from West London to East London, cutting directly across the city. It took almost 2 hours to arrive, because London traffic is somewhat of a nightmare (and terrifying holy crap) .. but once we got in, we were golden.

The AirBnB I booked is nice and functional, and situated at the base of a gondola for some reason. I rented the whole place (other people scare me), and later this week, Heather and Renee are flying in from Vancouver to join us for a week so the extra room made sense (and also Ed has to work a bit while we’re here, whereas I am a shiftless bum with no job hahHAEHhaehEHA). Today is our first fully conscious day in London, and we have a small but essential list of errands: get UK sim cards for our phones, explore the area, and officially start our London adventure.

EXCITED. If you want to follow along, I’m tagging all our photos and Tweets with #ekuk2!

*: Ed rarely sleeps on flights, and can be somewhat cranky and incoherent without sleep .. so instead of dragging him through London via public transit with all our bags, I ordered a car. This was somewhat flipped, because I was the one incapable of stringing a sentence together and really needed to not rely on my brain to get me all the way across London – but either way, it was a good decision and only slightly more than taking the Heathrow Express halfway to our destination and hoofing it with three transfers the rest of the way.

what is this "share" you speak of? i don't care if barry and josh are on here, get your own damn diet coke

what is this “share” you speak of? i don’t care if barry and josh are on here, get your own damn diet coke

#bhangralove

Posted in everyday kimli by

While waiting for Ed to finish getting his hairs cut, I accidentally stumbled upon a Bhangra Festival:

I originally had grand plans to go buy makeup, but I found myself utterly entranced by the colours and music. I ended up inching my way closer to the stage for a better look, eventually getting clear view of the action (save for the guy standing in front of me dancing along and waving his arms in my face). It was so cool! Can’t really go wrong with dancing men in bright colours .. which brings me to my point: I would like to file a complaint against my heritage for not having bright shiny dance times. As far as I can tell, there is nothing about being a half-Malaysian half-Canadian-Euro-Mutt that allows me to bounce around in glorious silken robes festooned with sequins and jewels and that is NOT FAIR. Perhaps I need to invent some sort of movement that will allow me fantastic sequins and fun music (I think I will skip the Macklemore mix though). I am endlessly jealous of Bhangra dance, and wish Ed had more hair that needed to be cut so I could have watched some more. Alas, we had to leave all too quickly, and now I have nothing more than a bunch of Instagram photos and a yearning for spangled tunics.

Today was the finale of the Vancouver International Bhangra Celebration, but now that I know what the deal is, I will make plans to attend next year. MORE DANCING! AND SEQUINS!

Time for bed. Gotta go to London.

it’s so hard to say goodbye

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I’ve been largely ignoring the fact that this is my last week at work – all the preparations for the upcoming London trip took over, and I buried myself in logistics and making sure I’m taking enough low-cut dresses to offend the entire British Empire. However, yesterday afternoon it kind of hit me for the first time .. this is my last day. I’m leaving this afternoon, and I’m not coming back. It doesn’t seem real, even with all my desk toys and posters and endless Diet Coke cups gone. Everything has felt like regular vacation preparation: finalizing deliverables, handing off projects, sprinkling wisdom like candy giblets amongst the children of the corn .. but it’s not temporary, and I won’t be taking my work back when we return from London. This is it. This chapter is finished, and everyone will move on without me.

That’s probably the hardest part, too. I’m just egomaniacal enough to want my co-workers to throw their hands up in despair and wail at the thought of a future without me, but I know that is ridiculous. It’s been hard to let go, and harder to hear talk of my replacement(s), and hardest of all to hear plans on how they’re going to try and fix the things that are broken. I can’t help but be sad over that – if people had tried to fix things six months ago, I’d still be here. It sucks to hear all the effort to fix things NOW, but maybe I can take some small solace in being a catalyst for that change. I wasn’t just idly complaining, but seriously trying to fix things and being cockblocked at every turn until I had to give up the good fight for my own sanity, healthy, and happiness. Some days I feel like I took the easy way out, especially during weeks like this – it’s been quiet, fun, and productive at work. However, there’s a very pointed reason for the calm: the cause of all the problems (and the reason I quit) has been on vacation all week, and without his interference, we’re accomplishing things and doing great work. A vacation doesn’t last forever, though, and when he returns, I’d be just as badly off .. worse, in fact.

I don’t need to worry about it anymore, but it’ll take some time for my rage to subside. I didn’t WANT to quit. I loved this job. I am still angry about the gaslighting and abuse. That may never go away, but I am going to try to push it down the emotional ladder .. and three weeks in Europe will probably help. In fact, I’m sure of it.

Deep breath. I’m almost done. Time to remember all the good – like the amazing people I’m leaving behind, who made me in Lego form:

accurate down to the tattoos and diet coke (they told me they weren't able to make the cleavage bigger) :D

accurate right down to the tattoos and diet coke (there are limits to the amount of cleavage lego can have) :D

 

who wants to play video games?

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In between quitting jobs, offending excellencies with my sheer awesomeness, all the angst, and cutting off half my hair, I’ve been playing a lot of iPhone games. So out of character, right? Anyway, these games are a blast and you should check them out if you like fun. If you don’t like fun, you’re probably DW and just the worst person I’ve ever met. Just sayin’.

RA

Ruzzle Adventure

Universal
Genre: Word Games
Price: Free

I never played the original Ruzzle game because I am all about playing with myself, not others – but Ruzzle Adventure caught my eye. The price was right, so I downloaded it and waded through the first few rounds. I’m glad I did, because the tutorial levels are deceptively simple .. but once you get to level 20 or so, the game gets HARD. Like, repeatedly failing levels and having to start over hard. I’m a big fan of word games, but I’ve played so many of them that the mechanics of every game comes way too easily, but Ruzzle Adventure is the first word game I’ve encountered in a LONG time that makes me swear. It’s great. Get it now.

DD

Dwarven Den – The Mining Puzzle Game

Universal
Genre: Puzzle/Adventure
Price: Free

Another title grabbed on a whim that quickly turned into a favourite, Dwarven Den is a lot of fun. You have a different goal each level, ranging from mining gold to forge new tools to locating your fellow dwarves after some sort of attack. In each level you have a limited amount of energy and “tech”, which is kind of like dwarf mana – but if either of those run out, you’re screwed. You also get a variety of tools to use that will help you access areas or capture monsters. For a free game, there are surprising number of levels – I’m at level 69, with another 20 to go. Each level has tons of replay value, and there are a lot of different pieces of equipment to find or create via the forge. I don’t think I’ve encountered a game quite like this before, but I’m really loving it – definitely a favourite by now.

SMBB


Super Monkey Ball Bounce – Canadian iTunes Only

Universal
Genre: Peggle, with Monkeys
Price: Free

This title was soft-launched in Canada, and isn’t in the US store yet. If you absolutely must get your hands on this Peggle-knockoff, you either need to be Canadian or have a Canadian iTunes account. It’s pretty good if you don’t want to do any exact trick shots (the fine tune controls are not great), and the addition of the saccharine-cuteness of the monkeys is appealing .. if you’re a fan of SEGA’s Monkey Ball games, then you’ll like this. It’s no Peggle, but it’ll do until Peggle 2 is launched on iOS (which, Popcap, GET ON WITH IT ALREADY).

 

the excellencies

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Late last week, we got an email at work advising us to dress appropriately and be on our best behaviour today, because the Excellencies were coming.

I don’t know how this was arranged, but the Ambassadors of Uganda, Libya, and Moldova were coming to tour our offices to see Canadian technology in action. We were asked to clean our workstations, be immaculate, and use formal greetings when addressing the assorted Excellencies:

  • His Excellency, Dr. Fathi Mohamed Baja, Ambassador of Libya
  • Her Excellency, Ala Beleavschi, Ambassador of Moldova
  • His Excellency, John Nsambu, High Commissioner of Uganda

The Ambassadors, we were told, were the official representatives of their President/King/Prime Minister, and that they appreciate being treated with honour and respect. Well, okay then!

.. I worked from home today. I don’t do toadying, and I have a big, big problem with Uganda’s despicable anti-gay policy and the lack of basic human rights in Libya and Moldova. Since I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t make a scene or fondle Sam in front of the assorted Excellencies and their entourage (not to mention my inability/unwillingness to “dress appropriately”, whatever that means), I decided it would be best for all involved if I just removed myself from temptation. So, I’m at home. I’m getting a ton of stuff done, and I’m not wearing any pants.

It is a good day in the Lady Cave.

dj diana in the house