behold the future

Look! It’s the most expensive grocery list in the world!

so tech! much overkill!

so tech! much overkill!

I am guilty of rarely using my iPad and eating expired mayonnaise far too often, so I decided to Do Something About It. I bought a fridge mount for the iPad, installed some essential apps, and there you have it: a really big fridge magnet that can control all the lights in the house, remind me when we’re out of creamed corn, and probably one day gain sentience and kill us all.

Although I add 98% of the items to the grocery list, Ed is often sent out to play sherpa. Writing down embarrassing sitcom-esque items for him to pick up like tampons and pantyhose and gluten-free manwiches on paper is practically caveman, so instead Ed and I use an app called Avocado. It’s a “couples app” with a bunch of really cheesy features (send kisses to your boo! omg what), but it also has a shared calendar and lists: whatever I add shows up on his phone, and vice versa. It’s free to use (with a few limitations, or you can pay $20/year for a subscription) and I find myself keeping all our household lists there: things to pick up, places we want to go, where all the bodies are buried. Useful!

I think I will enjoy living here in the future. Everything is so delightfully wireless!

catch them all

Someone stole my soul on the bus this morning.

I was sitting at the end of a sideways row of seats, talking about salami online. No one was sitting next to me, and only one woman sat across the aisle, two seats down. Suddenly and without a word, she pulls out an iPad, aims it at me, and takes my picture: I know this, because she briefly turned it around so I could see myself on her screen. Then she giggled, sang “Got you!” out loud, and put her iPad away.


Did she steal my soul?

Later, when the bus was more full and she had seat mates, she pulled out the iPad again and showed the lady next to her something. I may be paranoid on account of having no soul, but they both kept looking up at me then back to the iPad as if to compare my soulless reality to the likeness now trapped on her screen.

Seriously, I’m kind of freaking out. This is weird, right? Many strange things happen to me that I consider routine, but this is totally not normal, is it? Am I an item in a scavenger hunt? A Pokemon? Is she playing Dark Cloud? WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Joke’s on her, though: I took her picture right back. SO THERE.

omg wtf.