he woke up screaming for 40 years

The committee unanimously agreed: Gornak had the best costume at this year’s convention.

congratulations! what a costume!

congratulations! what an outfit!

What the other convention-goers didn’t know, and what Detective Briggs would only acknowledge on his death bed some 40 years later, is that Gornak wasn’t wearing a costume that evening. He was simply hungry.

oh the legomanity!

oh the legomanity!

Some say Briggs never recovered from that case. They were right. Briggs was a changed man from that day on – wouldn’t you be, when faced with that much carnage? When none of the clues make sense? When the only possible explanation will get you laughed out of town?

no amount of lego therapy will fix this.

no amount of lego therapy will fix this.

The other convention-goers did not die well.

i wear the cheese

it does not wear me

Last week’s company BBQ left me with a container full of processed cheese in my fridge. This will likely be the only time I EVER have processed cheese in the house, so I had to take advantage of the situation.

Processed cheese stinks.