I figured if I whined, I’d get my way – but I didn’t whine hard enough, and as such I got only one of my whore coins in the mail today. I can’t quite open my brothel yet, but here’s a sneak peek of how it’ll go:

whore and coins not to scale

I plan to have a FULL SERVICE brothel – as you can see, my customers (whom I imagine will all be dapper pilots from WWI) can choose from an assortment of lovely concubines to relieve their filthy carnal urges: tennis players, hula girls, winking sailors, cyborgs, figure skaters, small men with large beards, cross-dressing musketeers, and a pantless Justin Bieber wearing lipstick and a lei. There are Frankensteins too, but those are security guards. Please do not attempt to have sex with the Frankensteins.

My brothel is gonna be SO AWESOME.