caught ’em all

Yesterday, to my complete and utter humiliation, I caught a computer virus.

It happened at work, and was bad enough that I needed to get Desktop Support to help me remove it from my system. I was – and still am – totally embarrassed about this, because I should be exempt from these kinds of things.

I know that getting a virus isn’t a big deal and that it happens to most people, but that’s just it – I’m NOT “most people”. I’ve always been “that girl”; the one who’s really good with computers. If I’m not actually working as Desktop Support, I’m often the next best thing – people come to me with a computer problem and yo I solve it, often while a disc jockey plays or “spins” a catchy tune nearby. I’m good at this stuff. I don’t HAVE computer issues, let alone ones I can’t fix myself.

It’s all just so .. unseemly. Even the story of how I contracted the virus is shameful on multiple levels – everyone at the office in the know (ie those that read my blog) assumes I contracted the bad compu-mojo because I was looking for porn, but that’s not it. I mean, I WAS looking for porn in an attempt to solve Rosemary’s mystery, but that’s not what caused my virus. The real reason is much, much more humiliating than porn. Hell, you know me – I don’t know that I’ve ever been embarrassed by porn before, and I’m not going to start now.

I caught the virus while looking for pictures of Pokémon.


It was a really bad virus, too. Within seconds, it had disabled Sophos, redirected all my bookmarks to other virus sites, popped up dozens of messages saying all my files were infected and I should click here to fix them now. My browser had a thousand proxies added, and task manager was killed. In short, I was completely hosed – I couldn’t do a damn thing to remove it. After fiddling for several minutes and growing more chagrined by the second, I finally admitted defeat for the greater good: having my own machine infected was bad enough, but if I brought down the network or infected others, I’d be done for (possibly in more ways than one). I confessed my situation to the IT guy, and he unplugged me from the network and set about fixing my computer. It took almost 3 hours, but eventually things came back to life with a clean bill of health and I am left with little more than the memory of my ABJECT HUMILIATION and a healthy fear of pocket monsters of all kinds.

Maybe these people are onto something. Pokemans are EVILS of SATAN!

4 thoughts on “caught ’em all

  1. On my last day at my former job, this virus got into the (I believe) company global email system (if you used a Windows computer and clicked on the link in the email, you got the thing too). We ended up getting the same email multiple times because a few people clicked on the link without thinking.

    The only person at my office to click the link was a developer who once had me written up by HR for loudly telling her to go away. So I was quite amused at her embarrassment.

    Seriously, though, I’m not sure how it’s your fault that you got a virus. Isn’t it IT’s job to make sure all company computers have updated antivirus and so forth? Or was there something embedded in the lesbian porn you were examining yesterday?

    • Sophos actually stopped me from visiting the Pokemon site the first time around, which I heeded. Unfortunately, the second time I managed to get to the site using GIS – the blocker didn’t stop the image from displaying, and BANG Security Shield malware :(

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