For the last couple days I’ve had a routine – wake up, pee, restock my Tiny Tower, say hello to the three cats, then check on my pigeons. Coco and Dirk were wide awake this morning, and much more active than the last few days. I watched as Coco hopped all over the tiny balcony surface, looking all around her and even tapping on the glass – when I had a sudden flash of insight: my pigeons weren’t just friendly birds living on our balcony to make friends, they were STUCK. I watched the smaller of the two birds stretch out her wings and try vainly to get some lift, but the depth of the balcony is less than a foot – there simply wasn’t enough room for a full wing span and/or flight. I took my new theory to Ed, who immediately saw the logic in it. He got out of bed and donned some armour (a hoodie and a pair of gardening gloves) and went to work.

Thing is, the balcony is called a Juliet balcony for a reason – there isn’t enough room to even stand out there, let alone rescue some birds. He tried several times to (gently) grab one of the birds, but they just hopped to the other side and far away from Ed. This was frustrating, but it proved my theory – if the birds could get out, they’d definitely fly away from the giant wingless bird flapping senselessly at their bodies. Manually grabbing the birds was an epic failure, so Ed and I bandied about some other ideas for bird rescue, each more outlandish than the last. Then, just as suddenly as my flash of insight about being stuck came, Ed had a BRILLIANT IDEA: hockey stick.

He grabbed his hockey stick from the office and gently put it on the balcony. He tried to scoop up the birds like a spatula, but this just scared them. Finally, he moved the stick under the pigeon’s feet, and when the bird stepped onto the blade, he sloooowly raised the stick up to the top of the balcony. As soon as it was flush with the top, Coco hopped onto the railing and took off into the morning sun. Success! Ed repeated his Pigeon Elevator Service for Dirk, and he too flew off as soon as he could. Ed was very rightfully pleased with himself, as was I for realizing the predicament in the first place. We are Pigeon Saviours! I am proud of our Pigeon Wrangling ways! I will miss Coco and Dirk for the mild amusement they brought me, but I certainly wouldn’t have wanted them to starve to death on my balcony so this is for the best. Hooray! Good luck to you, Coco and Dirk!