For all my mouth-foaming at the myriad of ridiculous/offensive “sexy” Halloween costumes available, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I actually did go out and buy one for myself; complete with “sexy” label and ridiculous double entendres. Shame or not, I stand by my assertion that my costume shouldn’t really count as such for the following reasons:

• I’ve got regular clothes that are way, way more risque
• It’s actually really cute and something I would totally wear for not-Halloween
• I don’t want to be Girl Mario for the third year in a row
• Everyone tells me “Sexy Tech Writer” isn’t an actual costume

Sure, I will spend my Thursday freezing my ass off and being terribly self-conscious that my skirt is too short and I’m not showing enough boob, but what’s Halloween if not an excuse to dress in cheap, flammable material laden with inconsistencies and velcro?

Also, I am nothing if not helpful: if there happens to be a cute girl looking for a free room in Yaletown, you may be interested in this Craigslist ad. It’s not creepy at all, and is a perfect opportunity for anyone who is:

• Cute
• A girl
• Doesn’t mind sharing a room with a “nice proffesional guy in [his] 30s”
• Wants to also be friends (hang out)
• Is thrustworthy and cute
• Wants to live in a high rise apartment with lots of amenities
• Is named Roxanne

add “thinks Yaletown is on East Pender” to the list above

There are thousands of delusional ads like this on Craigslist, but in my heart of hearts I hope that “thrustworthy” was an intentional addition and not just a typo because it is sheer perfection.

I wonder if I could rent out my Lady Cave in the same manner? FREE ROOM FOR NAKED MAN must like to cross swords and do helicopters for my amusement plz be thrustworthy.