The following things have soundly defeated me this week:

• Pants

Earlier this year I splurged on a ridiculously expensive pair of jeans, which I then hemmed. Both of these things are unheard of: jeans are little more than blue pants, and I never hem things (preferring to trip over myself with every second step and also sweep floors). I was against the very notion, but I felt that maybe (probably) some day I would find myself in a peril that could only be resolved by my covered shins so I reluctantly outfitted myself appropriately. Unfortunately, the jeans I bought turned out to have a faulty zipper: it wouldn’t stay up. I used a key ring to keep myself relatively decent by looping it over the button, but this past weekend the zipper failed me entirely. It fell apart on my way to Victoria, and could not be fixed with any amount of hammer use. Luckily I had only planned to wear pants on the way there, but it was still awkward for the 3+ hours I had to walk around with my fly gaping open. Normally I’d write the pants off as a loss, but they were really fucking expensive so I took them in to a tailor for an emergency zipperectomy. See, this is why no one should ever wear pants: they are full of betrayal and also are stupid.

• Apple and Disney

I like supporting dev studios if I enjoy the fuck out of their apps. This past weekend, I tried to make an in-app purchase of some game currency. I had a sketchy connection all over the place, so I didn’t think anything of it when the purchase didn’t go through: I just tried again later. Unfortunately, the purchase DID go through the first time .. at least, financially. I was charged $4.99 twice, but only received one set of the currency. No problem – I’ll just contact Apple and explain the mistake, right? Oh, but no. See, this happened before with an album purchase that went through twice. Apple reversed the charge (who would buy an album twice in the span of 25 seconds) then .. but because they did, that was my one freebie reversal and they won’t do it this time: I’m SOL. Well, that sucks. I reached out to Disney, but they’ve ignored my issue entirely. I know it’s only $5, but it’s the principle of the thing: you charged me, and I didn’t get the item. Hell, I’d be happy even if they gave me the purchase in the app .. but since they won’t answer me at all, I’m bitter and complaining about it on the internet.

• Work

Work is busy. I am busy. I am only writing right now because I’m ignoring my lunch. This isn’t a complaint – I like being busy – but it has direct correlation to my next defeat:

• NaBloPoMo

I am out. I wasn’t able to update yesterday (that TV wasn’t going to watch itself), so I failed in the pointless endeavour to write a blog post every day in November. Truthfully, I wasn’t feeling it – I’d much rather post real content when I feel like it, instead of rambling nonsense* to meet a quota. I do not feel guilty about failing NaBloPoMo.

*: Yes I’m aware that my “real content” is still rambling nonsense: shut up.

• My Better Judgement

I got my wrist slapped at work yesterday for Instagramming something that was a big no-no. If I had given any thought to it whatsoever I would have realized it was a Bad Idea, but that didn’t happen so I merrily posted the picture. It was almost immediately deleted, but in the minute or so that it was up, one of the half-dozen people that saw it included my boss. Oops. Bad Kimli.

• Doors

I’ve walked into three doors today. While a lesser person would think that perhaps THEY had failed the DOORS, I see it from the other side: the doors failed ME, for not opening magically when I needed to get through. Who cares if the door was locked and I hadn’t scanned my ID to get in? It should know better. Doesn’t the door know WHO I AM?

• Not getting the D

Someone slipped me the D at work. Scandalous!

As an aside, this post is the 2500th post I’ve made on Delicious Juice Dot Com since switching to WordPress in late 2006. Congratulations, me! That is a metric shit ton of words! Tonight I will celebrate with frozen yogurt.