boners | delicious juice dot com

I’ve been using Rando since I posted about it last week, and I had been struck by several things – receiving new pictures took forever, and there was an extremely surprising lack of boners. You would think that, given the anonymous picture-sharing nature of the app, boners would be among the very first images sent out (guys just love to take pictures of their junk – seriously, what’s up with that) – but no. No boners. I received dozens of pictures, but not a single erection. As I am a somewhat closeted conspiracy theorist, there was only one possible reason for both the innocent nature of every image I received AND the length of time it took to get a response: someone was manually screening the random photos and deleting any naughty scenes.

My second theory was that someone had invented the world’s most powerful anti-boner algorithm, but that’s not as exciting as a room full of people hunched over big CRT screens from 1970 and manually approving or banishing images while The Ride of the Valkyries was piped in over a scratchy PA system.

Over the weekend, Rando’s response time improved significantly. Now I was receiving new images as fast as I could send them, which made my new project much more interesting (a Tumblr of Rando images with imagined backstory). This is good, right? Maybe they upgraded their servers or something! Faster performance is more better! Everyone wins!

It’s a happy theory, but my version of reality is probably closer to the truth: someone at the switch threw the towel in. Besieged by a never-ending onslaught of boners, the person doing the sorting went mad and ran screaming from the room; gibbering and foaming at the mouth and yelling about dicks.

I received my first Rando boner today.

It is not at all impressive. It’s kind of shiny and sad looking. I will not be posting it on my Rando Tumblr, because it’s more pathetic than interesting (but I’ll send it directly to you if you want to see it).

So, boners are happening. I am amused, anticipating, and apprehensive, all at once.

I have a crush on CATIE.

They’ve been in the news lately, because some woman in Nanaimo was America-style-outraged that her 13-year-old son received a saucy flip book in sex ed class. All her arguments are stupid – sex education is incredibly important and as much as she wants to think otherwise, 13 is exactly the right age to be introducing children to the ramifications of STDs, pregnancy, and how to avoid them if they just have to bust a nut – but her questionable horror at safe sex aside (along with my laughing: “It upset him to the point where he didn’t feel comfortable” hahahaha boners), the story glossed over the most important point of all: WHERE DO I GET THESE WONDERFUL FLIP BOOKS?!

Some extremely inappropriate work conversations and furious Googling later, we had an answer: the book is produced by CATIE (Community AIDS Treatment Information Exchange). Sam went about ordering some of the flip books to share with us, and they arrived yesterday:

the bad news: “something sexy” doesn’t involve handcuffs.
the good news: there’s a different pamphlet for that!

While the flip book is smaller than expected, it is chockfull of awesome erection action. Click the picture above to see a .PDF of the contents, or you can watch this Vine we took of the book in action.

Clearly, CATIE has some amazing education pieces to look at. Naturally, we immediately ran to the website to see what ELSE we could find:

(um, all of these are NSFW – you may want to wait until you’re alone before you clicky clicky)

BDSM: Safer Kinky Sex (complete with people cosplaying Drow and rubber hoses full of semen)
Use Your Head While Giving It: Blow Job Tips
Reading This Can Save Your Ass: Safer Rimming Tips
Dear Client (A Manual for Clients of Sex Workers)
XXX Guide (not a reference book for fans of Vin Diesel, but a handbook for sex workers)
These amazing anime superheros with dildo guns

.. and so on and so forth. There is a huge variety of educative materials that CATIE produces for institutional, group, or individual use, for free. It ranges from serious to funky fresh for the youths, and covers topics far outside the standard sex education fare such as LGBTT2IQQ-related information, body mods, drug use, and more.

Also, there are these:

photo (4)

.. a series of alphabet cards for gay and bisexual men.

They are incredible. How incredible?

*I* learned something from them. I thought I knew everything there was to know about sticking your wiener in things, but nope. I missed a few.

Seriously, I am totally in love with CATIE and I want to give them all my money so they continue to produce awesome education material for years to come. Plus, hilarious pictures of auto-fellatio. It’s like CATIE made these cards just for me!